One step at a time
by Emma cullen 4-ever
Summary: When Edward left Bella in New Moon, he hurt her to the piont of insanity. What will Edward do when he finds out that Bella is going to be hurt by someone near her, and will he be able to help her live? what will Jacob say? And what aboute Bellas fealings?
1. A breathing situation

_**Hello everyone! (ore should a say hello to thous who are there, if there are any) this is my first fanfiction.**_

_**My first language is Swidish so please excuse my grammar and spelling dificolties. And If that was not the onley problem i have dyslexia as well, so again pleas be pacent whit me. Like a said this is my first fanfiction, so it is a bit shourt. But i intend to whrite meny more chapters on this one. Hope you like it! /Emma**_

_**Oh Yeh..i do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.**_

**A breathing situation**

BPOV

Hours … minutes … seconds …so many of those had passed since Edward left, and it still hurt, everything still hurt. The pain, "it", I call it "it "by now, had become less of a struggle. I had managed to control my out brakes, for Charlie´s sake that was necessary, he blamed himself to match and I could not take it anymore. As I needed that on top of everything else? He had at least gotten over sending me to Renee´s, so I did what I needed to make the situation less obvious. I gave him a smile; hey I even gave him a hug for the sake of the situation. But everything still hurt; even breathing had become a burden for me by now. Everything I did reminded me of him and nothing seemed to lighten the situation. Going to school reminded me of "him". Forks reminded me of "him". Our friends reminded me of "him", even my own house had "him" written all over it. No wonder breathing was south a struggle, I was a wreak and everyone seemed to know.

Time whit Jacob where easier, I gave him that, but I had started to remove myself from him as I had whit the others. I did not want any friends, there would only be more people that would end up hurting me. So even Jacob had become a stranger to me by now, maybe it was not the right way to go, but I did not need a way, I did not need anyone. I did not feel like I wanted anyone either, no one other that Edward and he was for ever gone. At first I thought that maybe he would return, something told me that maybe he did want me after all. But then after a few near to death experiences I understood that he where long gone. My cliff diving sertantly made my dad go insane, and Jacob seemed to be on his side on that one, so that nearly ended up in an institution for my sake. Dam Jacob, always so stubborn and in the need to protect me, if it vas not for my father I had hoped that he had not saved me that day by the cliff. But I could never do that to Charlie, he would be devastated and be left whit nothing. My mother at least had her boyfriend so she would not be left alone, but Charlie had no one else but me.

But what where there to have? I had not felt happy since he had left and that was almost seven months ago now. The life was sucked out of me and it did not seem like it wanted to come back. Not even Jacob's secret seemed to shake me back to life. It shocked me alright but it also just seemed to make things verse. Jacobs's natural enemy was the vampires and boy did he remind me of why he turned in the first place. He meant well but it was too hard to be around, I had a lot to thank the pack for. Loruant and Victoria for examples, but I did not have the strange to help sheer them on, in the case of killing all vampires. So therefore I spent most of my time alone. Just trying to get passed the hours that seemed to move forward in the same passed of what a year naturally would. I took a breath to live, and that was what it felt like, a breathing situation. Why would not anyone unplug the respirator?

EPOV

"Alice you know why I need to do this" I said, but I knew she would not stop at that. Alice where…special when it came to her being able to stay out of a situation.

"Edward I am telling you…. She will not recover from what is about to happen", her voice was desperate and the seriousness made me feel like a question mark.

"Are we not talking about me leaving anymore?" I asked her slowly.

"My God Edward are you not listening at all? I have been trying to text you, write to you! And I have been terrorizing you on the phone…Where have you been?...Forget about that question right now, I need you here, home, Bella will be in a lot of pain and it looks pretty bad Edward. And what is even more serious is that I cannot see when it will happen", she rambled everything as fast as only Alice could, but I hurd her struggle the words in the end.

I took a breath before I answered, even though I did not need one. "Alice, what are you trying to say? And what are you doing in Forks?"

"That is what I am trying to tell you, this situation whit Bella needed me to come home, and I really think Bella will need you here as well", she was not making any scents and it started to anger me.

"Alice I told you not to go home, I told you to give her time. Did you think that any of this was easy for me? Do you know how many times I wanted to return and beg for forgiveness? And then you make a decision that could throw everything away? What were you thinking?" I did not care if I sounded mad, Alice needed to back off.

"Just listen Edward, we do not have time for this! Bella will be hurt. She will be hurt to the breaking point, and she will not recover whit out you. I see her hurting, and I see her doing things to herself to end the hurt, if you know what I mean?" Alice talked very slow this time and I understood her clearly.

"What?... What do I need to doo? Alice she…. you need to stop it!" now I was the one not making sense, but I knew Alice would know what I meant.

"That is the thing Edward, I cannot find her and I cannot see where it will happen" she sounded defited and more vulnerable than I have ever heard her sound.

"Alice… what will happen to her?" my voice had started to shake by now.

Alice went client on the other side of the phone, and this scared me more then when she had spoken. I knew by now, that silence where never good, Silence meant something more than just a fall, ore a hurt ankle me. Silence meant something really bad. I did not need to finish my conversation whit Alice; I was already on my way home.


	2. secure splaces

**Hey! wanted to ask you to pleas review. It is hard to improve when you don't get any feedback.**

**Secure places**

BPOV

A couple of days more had past and I felt normal. Normal as in numb, by now I kind of liked this feeling. It reminded me of that Edward was here once and that my memories were real, the pain showed me that. No one could take the memories away from me, so therefore the pain stayed as well. Even though the pain was a reminder of him, I hated feeling like this. I felt like a child in desperate need of a mothers care. I hated that he had such a hold on me still, that I had stopped living because my lack of "life purpose". I thought when I found him that my life was forever changed for the better, I was so wrong. My life was doll, maybe even boring before Forks, but I had a life worth living. I had meaning and I had joy, I was bored but I had something, I had myself. Now I do not know who I am anymore, all because I taught he loved me. How could I be so stupid?

The weather was kind of cold and the wind gave me chills along my spine as I walked along the trees in the forest. I was not far away from my and Edwards spot and I started to move faster. If I were going to be this slow, I would not make it home by dark. I mumbled at the thought, Charlie would not like that at all. Not after my latest activities, only when Jacob was around he calmed himself and left me alone. I tried to do as much as I could when he where at the police station. He could not worry too much when he was working, he could at least not have an eye on me then. Of course I knew that he had his spies but no one came looking for me here, "this" the forest where my safe spot.

The air was so much thinner in here and the breathing seemed much easier. I took a step in to the light and stood still for a minute. Letting the sun hit my face, soaking in the vitamin D. I was here, on our spot and it felt great. I did not really know why I tortured myself by coming here, but I could not help myself. A dart of throwing pain went trough my body when I remembered our first time here. This is where he first showed me who he was and what he could do. We lay here almost the whole day before he finally carried me to the car. It was cutie a run and I remember feeling really scared. That feeling though where soon gone after the kiss he gave me. Mmm that kiss, more pain went through me. It hurt and my knees almost gave away. This place was a curse and a blessing at the same time. It was a blessing because it gave me strength and memories of Edward. And it was a curse because it took the strength away as fast as I had felt it calm me.

Edward used to love coming here whit me, or so a though. He made it pretty clear why he was leaving me, so maybe coming here where fake as well. I guess I would never know. I have so much that I would need to talk to him about, so much I need to ask. Every question mark is playing whit my mind, and I hate him for it. I really feel hate towards him for what he pot me trough. The lie was the worse, the lie about us. How could I not see it? Why, why, why am I standing here feeling like this? I need to understand and come to peace whit the knowledge about what were, about what was not. A branch broke behind me and I froze. I slowly turned around to see what had just made that happen. My body responded to my commands but just barely, my hands were shaking quite heavily. I finally made it all the way around and look straight ahead to the sounding area. No one ore nothing, only me and my demons. I shook my head and felt pretty stupid for having such a reaction for nothing. Typical I, making myself terrified than realizing that it was nothing. The noise reminded me that I needed to begin my way out from the woods and on my way home. The sun was on its way down and I really needed to hurry now. I begged that Charlie had a delay on his way home, so that he did not need to start wondering about me. If he did he only would ask about my day and a forest trip is not what he wants to hear. I began running down hill so that I could catch up some time before the direction would change to upwards instead. I began to run faster, I felt free running like this. And then.. I felt a hard rock hitting my foot and I fell flat. My head hit something in the fall and I felt a small stream of wetness running down my forehead. I made a whimper before I stood up again and the shooed my head. How is this possible? If I counted my falls on a day there were be at least six or seven of them. I brushed of my shirt and began to walk again.

"Do you not think that you need to check that out?", a voice from behind me made me freeze again.

I turned around and gazed into the dark, I did not see anyone.

"Over here Bella, honestly have you gotten your eyes checkt?" the voice laughed and I followed it directly to the owner. My eyes widened when I realized who it was.

"Jacob…what are you doing here?" my voice sounded shaky and my question came out kind of angry.

"Well excuse me I did not know you owned the forest?" he said whit a kaki tone.

"You know what I mean, wait a minute..Did Charlie send you?" now the irritation had made its way into my body again. I took a deep breath and waited for his answer.

"Jacob?" he did not say anything, he just stood there, staring at me.

"Fine… do not answer I do not have time for this, I need to be home soon." I turned around and started walking again. His arm grabbed mine and forced me to turn around again.

"What Jacob? I told you I cannot stay" I pulled back my arm and took a step backwards.

"Well I was out taking my neighborhood watch and I caught your sent… I thought…that maybe you where planning something stupid" he looked down in shame and kicked a small stone aside whit his shoe.

"Something stupid ha? Well.. No I was not, so please excuse me. I need to be going now ore else Charlie is going to freak" I tried to be a little bit more easy on him; after all he was just worried. And I gave him a really hard time about it.

"Bella wait I need to tell you something, wow..You are bleeding a lot from your head. Let me put something on that" Jacob started to pull his shirt of his body, then he stepped closer and put the t-shirt against my wound.

"Aooussh Jacob! Take it easy!" my voice hit a high and I stared at him. He started laughing and pulled away a bit. That made me stared even more, how dear he laugh at me in this situation?

"Sorry Bella but it was not me hurting you, it was your head being sore" he started laughing again. Typical Jacob he was such a boy.

"Ye, ye, Jacob I really need to go so can we talk along the way?" I asked and looked at him.

"Am..Yeh, shore but I thought that you did not want my company?" he looked just as ashamed as before.

"Your right but I also do not want Charlie to be angry whit me, and he would not if I were to be whit you" I ended my sentence whit a laugh so he would see my irony. Jacob gave me a huge smile and a bump on the shoulder and then we started walking.

We walked in silence for a while, the darkness was a fact and I tanked Jacob for walking whit me. I would not have seen anything in the dark and now I had Jacob leading the way. Even though I had pushed Jacob away it was nice having him close by my side right now. It felt uplifting; I had not felt like that for ever.

"So what did you want to tell me Jacob?" we walked slowly beside each other.

"Do not worry about that now Bella, I can tell you in the morning" Jacob started to move faster. It made me wonder what he was hiding.

"Really Jacob? Trying to make me think that it was nothing when it was" I smiled for myself and thought about when he did not tell me about the wolf-thing.

"It is not important right now; can we not just walk and forget about it?" Jacob kept hurrying the pace. I stopped and stood still.

"Jacob tell me now, or you can walk alone" I knew it was rough but now I was certain he was hiding something.

"Ok but first I need you to promise me something?" he asked me gently.

"It depends Jacob" I could not promise whit out knowing what my promise is about. Jacob started walking again and I followed him

"Do you remember how everything went down when Edw…he left you? You went into some sort of non-living-state?" I did not say anything I just nodded my head; I knew he would se although there were dark.

"Would you ever consider taking him back Bella?" he formed the sentence very low. I did not see where he possibly wanted to go whit this.

"Jacob you know I do not want to talk about this" I could not believe him. First he made me feel a little bit happy and then he made me come back to reality whit a smash.

"I know that, but I need to know" he said.

"Why? Why do you need to know? I asked him.

"Because I just do..It is for your protection Bella"

"Why would I need protection? Everything bad has already happened." I felt numb again.

"Bella you are my friend I will always be here for you. You know that right? I know we have not spent that much time together in a while, but I am still your best friend right?" we kept walking and I started to fell uncomfterble.

"You know you are I just needed time" he was still hiding something from me. "Jacob pleas just say it already!" I burst out. He turned towards me and stopped again.

"Would you ever consider going back to him?" he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Jacob!"

"Pleas just answer" he ask me slowly.

"That is not even an option" I said low.

"If it would be, would you?" he just would not let this go.

"I do not know Jacob, I guess no…But I..I..." I went silent; I bit my lip so that the stupid tears would not start to fall. Of course it was in vain, the tears started to roll down my shin and a sob left my mouth.

"I am sorry Bella but I really need to know, so pleas answer me" he asked gently but I heard the commanding tone hiding in there.

"I do not know that is my answer Jacob. He hurt me so much but I cannot stop thinking of him. He is all I think about. Nothing else matters so therefore I do not know" the sobs went louder and I sat down on the ground.

"I was hoping you would not say that" he said sitting himself down next to me.

"Bella….The Cullen's is back in town" he went client, as did I.

**ok so what does this mean? stay whit me and be updated...and again pleas review!**


	3. Why?

** Hello again! sorry for the chapters beaing so short, but i have school to. Any ways i am doing this for fun and to make my self improve in another language. So PLEAS REVIEW if you like it! And if you don't tell my why, so I have the chance to change it. **

**I don't own Twilight Stephanie meyer does!**

**WHY?**

I was in shock, had I just heard him right? My hart beaded really fast and my breathing had turned in to some kind of a storm situation. I went in to a daze, time stood still and it felt just like slow motion. I saw Jacob trying to talk but I could not concentrate on what he had to say. I guess he saw that kind of fast because he went client after a while. In a normal world maybe this would not catch me so of guard, maybe I even would have gotten a bit happy about it. But this was not normal, nothing about it where. Instead I felt an anxiety attack rising. Did I have to face him now? Did I have to act happy if I saw him, when I really felt like crap? Another cold wind came crossing us and it forced me back to reality. Jacob walked silently beside me, not even reflecting about the wind. Of course he would not; he was "hot" all the time. I cannot even start counting the times I had prayed for him to come back. And now that he had, I did not know how I felt about it.

"How long have you known about this?" I asked him quietly.

"Since Friday", he answered me quickly.

"And you only told me today? That was two days ago, did you not think I should have known sooner?" There were no doubts he did not here my anger. Still I did not see any changes in his face. He took a breath and pulled his hand through his hair before he answered me.

"It was a protection detail." He was lucky the darkness were here to save him from my gaze. I knew he had better confidence because of that.

"Jacob what the hell is this protection thing that you are referring to all the time? Just say what it is your hiding, lay it all out there." I could not even believe we had this conversation right now. Cullen's..Back?

"He is a blood sucking, none living a human thing. What do you think I mean?" He snapped of. I knew Jacob had a hate towards the Cullen's, but I guess I never really knew just how match. This made me sad and that made my hate towards myself grow even more. Even after all this, I still felt the obligation to defense him.

"Jacob it is what it is, and it is all over in that matter. Edward and the Cullen's did not want me so I do not understand why you feel the need to protect me?"

"You clearly have an Achilles heal toward him so that's why" he kept snapping at me.

"Wow Jacob! Did you really go there?" I know my emotions did not always follow my commands but this time I just let them run freely. He deserved it.

"You know I am right about everything that I am saying. Maybe your in denial" I did not like this side about Jacob.

"I think we need to end this conversation right now, before it goes too far" I shook my head and started to walk faster. I was late but I couldn't even care about Charlie's reaction right now.

"Bella you need to stay away from them, there dangerous!" he raised his voice even louder than before and tracked up whit me.

"Ok… Jacob were soon home, I think we need to call it a day" this conversation would just escalate if we where to go on. I did not want to be his enemy but I did not like him as a friend when he behaved liked this either.

"No Bella you need to hear this", he took a breath before he talked again. "Everything about them makes me sick and for you to be my best friend and love them?...it just is not right. And not just that, you are in love whit him still. After all he put you through? I would never do that you to, not ever" he stopped and gazed trough the dark right into my eyes. What did he want me to say about this? That they are dead to me? That I do not care about them? That I never did? I couldn't do that, it was not true and it wasn't a true eight her.

"I know you feel this way Jacob, but I am still chocked I do not know what to tell you nor answer you right now. And it is not because there back, it is because why there back. I just need to be alone right now.. ok?" I hoped he could take that answer. Jacob tock a step closer and leaned in towards me so that there were just a foot length between us.

"If you decide to meet them Bella…I do not know what…"

"Enough Jacob! Are you serious? You cannot tell me what to do!" I shouted by now. He where making me furious, my whole body where shaking. I knew why he hated the Cullen's but I already had a father and he was more than enough. "Just leave Jacob" I turned away from him, I could not look at him right now. He was so disrespectful and mean. I had not asked for this, not any of it. It felt so childish arguing whit Jacob when all I wanted was to jump in my bed and stay there. I heard Jacob moving and I turned around to see if he was walking away. But he was already gone, I was left whit nothing but my own thoughts.

I sat myself down on a stump letting the darkness surround me; I did not care if I was late home anymore. That was not a big deal. It felt like my brain had hiccup because it kept reputing the same question over and over. Why?... Why?... Why? I felt the tears starting to roll down my chins again, it was the second time to day but I could not keep them in. Everything was so overwhelming; all that I have tried to forget and get over came crushing down.

I do not know how long a sat there just trying to calm myself enough to walk home and face Charlie. It must have been two hours at least because my curfew had past one hour ago. I raised myself up and forced my legs forward again. I was so tired, near exaction and I did not feel like feeling anymore. I saw the light by the road, finally I was home. I stopped, took a last calming breath then begun towards my telling-off. I did not get far before I heard that noise again, just like a branch breaking. My natural human reflexes made me turn around. Again nothing had I become so paranoid that every noise made me think the worst. I guess Victoria, Laurent and then James hade made me a bit jumpy in that matter. But focusing my eyes I thought that I saw something, something moving around in the dark. I felt my body taking its normal protection and I started to shake. Could it possibly be Victoria? Maybe she had crossed the wolves' pack; she was both smart and fast. I turn around and began running, I knew that I did not stand a chance agents a vampire, but I could not just stand here and let myself be a pray to someone's satisfaction. My legs did not run as fast as I wanted them to do and my body did not stop trembling. I was not certain that I was being followed, but I did not want to stop and check it twice. I kept aiming for the house and hoping for the best. And then I felt a hard bang to my head and everything went black.

**So what did you gays think? **

**Next chapter is going to be a sad one for Bella, some thing terrible will happen to her...mabey Edward has something to say about that? You never know...**


	4. Devour me

**Ok i have been writing all day to day, i wrote both chapter 3 and 4 today..so i hope yoa'll like it.**

**I want to put out a warning though! in this chapter you will find out what happened to Bella, and it will not be pleasant just so you know! so for those of you that are sensitive, maybe don't read this. So thanks for the Reviews, because of them you got 2 chapters today=) I really feel that i developed whit-in the language already, so i will be writing a lot more and sooner maybe even longer chapters. pleas tell me what you think! /Emma**

**Devour me**

BPOV

I Woke up, feeling sore everywhere. My head hurt and I felt a banging beat from the top of it. My eyes flickered, it was hard trying to se at all in the dark, it didn't really help that my eyes seemed to struggle. I was not near the road anymore; I didn't see the lights, so someone must have moved me. Pain came rushing over my body whit a thumb. I tried to move and save myself from whatever was trying to hurt me, but I couldn't something was pinning me down. Again the pain came over me, my mouth let out a sob the tears were already falling. The pain was too much to bear, I forced my eyes open, making myself come back from the clouds. Someone was on top of me; someone was inside me, forcing him on me, over and over. The pain kept coming in waves; I didn't even have the strength to try to escape. My body was so finished I could not even move my legs. I opened my mouth in a try to talk.

"Please stop" I got out whit a weak voice. He didn't answer but I kept hearing moans from him. He was enjoying this; he had taken my virginity and my pride at the same time. I was too afraid to scream, all I could think of was Edward. I shut my eyes again, overpowered by the pain and the man's reputedly moans. Jacob had said that the Cullen's were back; maybe if I concentrated real hard Alice would hear me. The man kept pleasing himself whit me, hurting me whit every motion. I did try my best to send my message to Alice but it was hard concentrating on anything when this was happening. My god weren't he ever finished? He threw me around whit such a force, pressing me to the ground. He thrust himself inside me again and used such a strength I was near passing out. Why was this happening to me? Why weren't anybody coming? If Alice were back, she would have heard my by now. So maybe Jacob was wrong, or maybe they actually didn't care. Everything hurt and whit every thrust I wanted to die, ore pass out.

He gave out one last moan before he stopped and pulled himself of me.

"Thanks Bella" the man said wail dressing himself. "You know you really should not be out here all alone this late, something bad can happen" he told me, whit a smirk in his tone. Then I guess he was gone, because everything went client. Why didn't he just kill me? I tried to move, tried to cover myself but it was worthless. I was like an infant, the brains signals did not cooperate whit my body and I didn't seem to move an inch. Everything felt superior "it" was pulling me down. I felt sleepy and my eyelids felt really heavy. The pain gently left me, it change into some kind of wellbeing. Not even my head were pounding any more. It felt nice; I felt my worries slowly going away to. Everything felt blurry; the ground felt worm and tender. I was going deeper and deeper into the fog. It wanted me…and I wanted it too, I saw Edward in there, he was smiling and whispering.

"Bella, Bella" he called, begged me to come closer. I felt wormer than I had in a long time; I wanted to go to him. The fog were taking me closer, surrounding its self tighter around me. I begged it to devour me and finally it did.

EPOV

I was sitting in my room, trying to think about something else than Bella, when Alice came running in.

"Edward we need to hurry, I saw were she is. It's bad, really bad Edward. We need to go, were losing her as we speak" Alice murmured everything really fast en then she flew out the door. I was not far behind her, we run fast and I tried to catch her sent while following Alice's lead. Alice was not as fast as me, and her running that slow made me stressed. Bella's life was threatening, that was all Alice had told me. She had tried her best hiding this situation whit Bella since she had called me. It made me really irritated not knowing what had happened to her.

"Were she? I can run ahead!" I said to her while running right in till her.

"Edwa.."

"Just tell Me Alice!" I cut her off.

"Edward she will be really Exposed, so will you be able to handle it alone?" she asked me then pushing herself to run faster.

"I will have to, she needs me. So tell me" I was half screaming at her from the speed.

"She's on the other side of the road opposite to her house. She is not near the road, but get there and you will smell her….hurry" I did not stay beside her for long, I forced myself to go faster, then even faster. The trees flew by me and after a while I started to find Bella's sent. I smelled her blood, but then another smell hit me. I recognized this smell, but I had not felt it for very long. It was a werewolves, you couldn't go wrong whit that smell. What did a werewolf do in these woods? We had not come upon one since we moved here the first time. I was near now, her sent was so strong I could almost touch her. Finally I saw her…..but there were something really wrong with this picture. I came up towards her and sat myself down beside her, she was naked and barley breathing. The concept of what had happened came over me. I took her in my arms calling her name.

"Bella, Bella" I called, but there were no sign of a response. When I found who did this to her, and I would, it would not be present. Alice finally cashed up and saw me whit Bella. Her eyes did not even blink; I now saw what she had seen in her vision. I let out a growl and took Bella closer to me. No one would ever get near her again, I would always protect her. The shame of leaving her behind, in hope of a better life came rushing over me.

"Edward" Alice said whit compassion. "I called Carlisle he's on the way. Up on the road to the left, passed Bella's house, he will be there in a couple of seconds…GO!" she did not follow me, I guess out of respect for both Bella and I. Bella's fragile body laid limp in my arms. There where red and bluish marks all over her tiny body. I stood in the edge of the wood, waiting for Carlisle. Another shame wave came upon me, this was my entire my fault. If I had stayed…

Carlisle came up on the road and drove into the side almost were I stood waiting. I put Bella gently in the back seat and then sat down beside her.

"What has happened Edward?" Carlisle sounded as calm as always, it calmed me a little that he were here right now. A doctor so nearby was convenient when it came to Bella's well being.

"She is bleeding fairly badly from her head and as you can see, she is naked. So I assume the worse" I told him. Carlisle was listening while he broke every speed limit he possible could. He took a turn in on the road leading towards our house. We came up outside the house just seconds later.

"Take her upstairs" Carlisle commanded me, he went straight away inside and I followed him. Well Inside the atmosphere was tedious. I heard the thoughts of everybody and they were worried about Bella. I gave Alice a nod thanking her for her help out there.

"You would have done the same" she answered in her thoughts. I was up stairs now and I laid her down on the operating table that Carlisle had in his office. She still was not making a sound. Carlisle came in whit a blanket a laid over her naked bruised body. Ironic how many times I had thought of her naked and this were to be the first time I saw her like that. Carlisle had started to examine her, checking for wounds and bleeding spots.

"Will she be ok?" I asked him terrified for the answer.

"Her body will heal from this, she will make it. However..How she personally will recover is a whole another worry" he stood still looking at her scull injury. "I am going to stitch her up now, and then I need to be checking the rest, I do not know how long she will be passed out, and the faster I check her the better." He looked at me seriously.

"You mean..But maybe she wants to decide that?"

"Edward the more we wait, the more the evidence against this man will be lost. I am going to have to do it without her permission" he looked at me and I knew he was right but I felt bad for Bella.

"Ok" I nodded at him and left the room. I knew Bella would want as few people in the room as possible. It hurt real bad walking out from there when I wanted to be there for her. But it was for her best. I went down to the others, and stopped infant of Alice.

"Come outside whit me" a said to her and went out through the front door. I stood quiet for a while before I could find my words.

"Who did this to her?" I asked whit a thigh jaw.

"I don't know I couldn't se him. And I couldn't see Bella until she was alone. I just saw shimmers of what happened, and that was because she tried to reach me." I met her glance; she really caught me off guard by that.

"Tried to reach you?" I said.

"She called on me; she must have focus really bad because I got the message even though the man was making the vision UN clear. I don't know why I couldn't see him, this has never happened before" she said and I knew I was not the only one whit shame here. I bit my lip in a try not to have an outbreak. I had never felt this much anger in all of my lifetime… So much anger and helplessness, I did not know how to move future whit this. I did not know how to help her.

"Is there anything else you can say?"

"No sorry Edward, this was it. He completely shouted me out" she said in a worried tone.

"I felt another scent on the spot where I found Bella; the scent is all over her as well. It is a werewolf scent" I told her this and followed her reaction. She seemed a bit surprised.

"A werewolf? I thought there were no left here? You need to tell this to Carlisle." She said in whit a jumpy voice.

"He has scents it already; I read his mind when he examined Bella. He was as surprised as you" I told her. Then I heard the noise I had been waiting for, Bella wakening.

**So this is terrible thing that has happened towards Bella! but i wanted to take it in this diraktion, and see how to put it all together again. it is a really chalenching one. hope you don't hate me.../Emma**


	5. Is it all just a dream?

**Hey! ok so number 5...i am so exited about this one, and the followings ones. Tell me what you think!**

**Is it all just a dream?**

BPOV

I woak up of the feel of someone touching me, I laid completely still in worries of him noticing. Reality hit me ones again about what had just happened. I didn't know how long I had been passed out and I thought I recalled him going away. To my horror he must have come back to finish what he started. Something was covering me, covering my body from its nakedness. I felt some one playing whit my hair, stroking my forehead. Ok so he were not done whit me, and now he had started to play gentle. The fog didn't have such a strong hold of me anymore, and I managed to remain clear and controlled. I really needed to stay as calmed as possible, if there ever would be a spot for me to run I had to take it. But until then just play unconscious and note to move a limb. I lay for minutes just trying to breathe as normal as possible, I didn't want him to notice any changes. I felt the need to swallow but I ignored ii in case of a reaction. I heard the man sighed and finally he seemed to leave. I heard footsteps on a floor? But wasn't I in the woods? I didn't have the time trying to remember, the man had just left and I needed to take my change.

I sat myself up quietly from what seemed to be some sort of a bed, whit a closer look I saw that it was a hospital bed. I took a breath, this was worse than I thought; he had planned a whole lot for me it seemed. No one was in the room and I quietly checked around it to look for my escape, to my surprise I recognized the room to its fullest. I knew of this room, I had been in here before. This was Carlisle's offices. I looked down on my body, noticing a white blanket surrounding me. I wrapped it tighter and carefully putted my feet on the ground. I slipped across the room next to the window, it was slightly high above the ground, but maybe I would make it down. I saw a ladder one meter to the side of the window; if I jumped I would most certainly reach it. Warily I opened the window, I was about to cross over my legs when a hand grabbed me.

"Bella You cannot leave by the window, we have a door you know" the man said. That voice I doubtless knew of, it was Carlisle. "Besides, maybe you should stay for a while, letting yourself recuperate a bit" I didn't turn around to face him, I felt my cheeks started to burn and the shame and knowledge of him seeing me naked was just too much.

"I didn't know you were back?" I said. I lied, of course I knew. Jacob was so nice letting me know. I felt the anger blossom again, what were they doing here?

"Bella Pleas come down from there" now that was a hole other voice, that was Edwards. I felt my heart starting to beat, and my cheeks blushing even more. God no, not like this. I was naked for god's sakes. I had waited so long to see him again, and now I just wanted to run. I remained silent; the arm who had grabbed me still had a hard grip of me.

"Please let go of me" I asked the one holding my arm, it must have been Carlisle because he talked to me first. But I wasn't sure.

"Will you come down then?" Carlisle asked me.

"Yes" I answered him. But the temptation to jump was alluring. He let me go and I sat still for a while longer. I wasn't ready to see them yet, note like this. I felt my body hurting, it wasn't so bad any more, and maybe Carlisle had done something about that.

"Can I please be alone whit Carlisle?" I asked. I couldn't face him; my hart would not be that strong. I felt it trying to find its way out of my chest already. Edward didn't say anything he just left the room quietly.

"Do you maybe have something that I can put on?" I asked Carlisle whiteout turning around.

"Yes, if you come down I will get something for you" he said calmly. I nodded my head and slowly turned around. He took my hand and I let my feat hit the floor. Carlisle shut the window and showed me to a chair before he left the room. I stood up again I was too confused, too restless and to hurt to sit down. I was disgusted by myself; all I wanted right now was to shower to be alone. I saw bruises on my arms, when I lifted the blanket I noticed my legs were covered as well.

I heard a soft nock on the door. It was Carlisle.

"Here you go; I'm leaving you alone to change. I will be up in a couple of minutes, is that ok?" he asked me.

"Yes" I said but didn't look at his face. He nodded and left the room. I started to dress myself; I felt how sore my whole body felt. I finally pot on the last item on my body. I was seriously thinking about the window again. I cleared my head from thinking about everything, and I tried to find the presently feeling of numbness. A nock on the door hit my ears again.

"Did everything fit alright?" Carlisle asked me. He came in and sat down in the chair opposite to me.

"Yes" I answered him shortly. I just wanted to go home; I was not in the mood for the serious talk right now.

"Bella…I now this must be hard for you. But I need to ask you if you remember everything?" he talked slowly, whit a tone I guess was his working voice.

"Yes" I answered again. "Carlisle I want to go home. Charlie does not know where I am and he will surely be calling for backup soon" that wasn't why but I didn't have a truth serum in me, so he didn't have to know why.

"Ok.. We can drive you home, but I need to show you your file first. Just in case, if you want to press charges." He said.

"No I won't be, so I don't need to see it. And I will get myself home" I stood up and walked towards the door. "Please tell everyone to let me be, I do not want to talk to anyone" I knew everyone heard, so I did not wait for Carlisle to tell them. I opened the door and stood face, to face whit Edward.

"Bella" he said and went client. He looked at me and gave me a smile. His eyes where gazing at me, over my body, I looked away. Carlisle came up behind me.

"Bella I really do not want to do this…"

"Then don't" I said and turned around towards him.

"I will be going now, thanks for everything" I said and then crossed Edward. I felt the tears buckling up; I needed to get out from here. The forest situation were enough for me to handle, I didn't need the Cullen's too. I heard Edward and Carlisle mumble about something to each other when I went down the stair, I just didn't care right now. I came down in the hallway, just passing the living room and then I saw them. Alice, Jasper, Emmet, well everyone. They were just standing there, waiting for me to come down I guess. I felt a strong feeling of awkwardness. The tears started falling again and I stopped looking at them and just went pass and trough the front door. I started running, I ran along the road leading up to the highway.

I was crying hysterical by now, everything came out. I knew they all still heard me but the pain cached up whit me and it was too much to bear. I was more of a reek than ever. I really hoped that they would not tell Charlie, he wouldn't understand me. He would only want to go future whit this and I didn't. I felt disgust any wise, I didn't need to feel it in front of everybody as well. I started to feel tired, so I stooped to catch my breath, the dizziness had come back. Then the fog came again, it took me away, just like in a dream.

**How do you feel about the cullens return? I really enjoyed writing this one, just because Edward is back. So now it's up to Bella figuring things out, if she will that is! what do you think? let me know:)**


	6. MELTDOWN

**Hello again!**

**I was thinking about something, were you ratter i wrote longer chapters but more seldom. Then shorter ones more often?**

**I really enjoyed writing this chapter, hope you like it...let me know.**

**Yeah and also,is there something you think i need to describe more than i do? Maybe the surroundings, Bella's thoughts, Edwards thoughts? Let me know and I will keep challenging myself.**

**Stephanie Meyers owns Twilight I don't! (Sad I know, but its just the way things are)**

**Drowning**

It felt like I had been running for ever, the dullness surrounding me made me feel depressed. Someone was following me but I could not see him nor hear his movement. I just knew someone was near; I kept running whiteout knowing my destination. It wasn't a running like I knew where I was going; it was a running like run for your life. And I did, the air felt wet and the haze made it hard to see. Voices started to appear around me, there were more like whispers. I didn't hear what they said, the mumblings was too unclear. I started to recognize where I were, I finally came out on the meadow. I looked around I was alone, the scenery had changed. Here everything was so clear, the sun burned on my skin it was unusually hot. The wind blew a little and made the worse heat go away. I forgot about why I was running I was to swallowed up by the meadows beauty. I lay down on the soft summer grass and closed my eyes. Letting the sun hit my skin and felt the wind play whit my hair, I felt worm, it felt so nice.

Then the voices reappeared, they kept whispering; only now they were a bit clearer. I looked around but there were no one to put together the voice whit. It kept whispering I began to hear clearly about what now. I heard names, dates and places; over and over it kept reputing the same ones. It was one name in particular that I noticed, Anna Louise McCain. The whispers became clearer and by now it was a strong voice. It wasn't angry but the seriousness in the tone made me listen to what it had to say. It started to talk faster, and after just a bit the pace was too fast for me to hear anymore. To my surprise the meadow had started to move along whit the increased paced on the talking voice. Everything started to turn faster, and faster, the dizziness was a fact. It was like a turning rollercoaster and it just kept adding speed. I was afraid now, it didn't stop and I couldn't see anything. The meadow had turned into a blur, everything was moving too fast for a human eye to see. I flew down whit a thumb, I sat myself up again worried for what had just happened. Surprised yet again, I realized I wasn't on the meadow anymore, I was in my room.

Everything was still and quiet, no voices. Did I just dream that? I let out a sob when the realization started to hit me. I took a breath, letting the cool air calmed me down. I started laughing, everything was so macabre, and I was hit whit a new knowledge: I was feeling sore. Why was I feeling sore? I felt hurt from other parts of my body as well. Chock was the new word to my facial expression. Everything weren't a dream; this man really had been on top of me, doing stuff to me. I flew up from the bed disgusted by myself, I needed to shower. I swung up the door and went in to the bathroom as quickly and quiet as I could. I didn't even check the time so I had no idea what it was, I wasn't sure if Charlie was home ore if it were night or day. I just needed to get clean, needed to get HIM of me.

I took of my clothing and turned on the shower, I waited for the right temperature before I went in. the warm water hit my cold skin at once and I started to shiver. I thought of nothing for a moment, pushing myself into numbness again, this had become a defense mechanism by now. I pushed away the tears, how dare they be thought of falling? I swallowed what felt like a large mass of feelings. I didn't want to feel, feeling only made things worse, it made things unbearable. I felt my heart beat really fast, reminding me of earlier, reminding me of Edward. I looked down on my body; I saw the bruises marking the sore spots almost everywhere. Some darker than others, some really obscene.

I stood in the shower for what felt like hours, I didn't stop until the warm water had passed and the cool one was hitting my naked skin. I guess it must have been noon ore something because Charlie hadn't knocked on the door and told me about the cost of warm water, so he must have been working. I wrapped the towel around me and made my way into my room. I sat down on the bed surrounding myself whit thoughts I didn't want to have. Sometimes I thought that everything would have been easier if I just had left this place.

"Bella" a voice from behind me said. I knew of that voice so well. But the other times it had called me, it made me glad, happy. But now I only felt sorrow. I stood op turning myself towards him, facing the one thing that was unthinkable to me.

"Edward" I answered quietly without locking at him. I couldn't face him, it hurt too much. My hart knocked on my thorax, reminded me of the old days when that hart knocking was something pleasant. My eyes stopped at his chest, he had a navy blue shirt on him. It was that beautiful blue color that I used to love on him. His hands were tightly closed; it gave him an angry appearance. Was he here only to chew me out? He didn't say anything else than my name and we both stood quiet, head to head whit each other. He on one side of the bed, and I on the other.

"Why are you here Edward?" I finally asked him. He moved a bit before answering me.

"I took you here, you fainted and I wanted to stay and check on you" he talked so careful, like his words could break me. Good now I had a pity comity, and I really didn't want it.

"And now you have checked" I said. It was so hard, having him stand here after all this time. So many things that were UN said.

"Yes" he answered me shortly. His hands were still closed, so he really was mad. Why the pity then?

"Pleas look at me Bella" he asked me and moved a bit closer cross the bed and towards me.

"Don't come any closer" I begged him, lifting my hand like a stop sign. I couldn't look at him like he asked me, I weren't able to. I started trembling; I felt my walls trying to crash. I fought against the tears, biting my lip in a desperate attempt to fight it. Why was he doing this to me? Making me weak and woundable?

"Bella I can see your hurting, let me help you" he said, taking e few more steps closer. Totally ignoring what I just said. He took a few more until he stood right in front of me.

"Pleas Edward don't…..I don't need your pity…I just..I…I…" I stood there stuttering, feeling like a total fool, wearing only a towel.

"Bella I know your angry whit me, I will explain everything to you, but now I think you need to see Carlisle" he said. My head tilted up towards him when I heard what he said. I finally meet his gaze, if I hadn't known better; I would have mistaken it for love. But like I heard in his voice earlier, it was pity.

I felt something, something was coming, and it was pressed against my body, making me tremble. The walls cracked and the flood came rushing in. Breaking everything in its way, it keeps running, shaking the ground like a flood dose. I felt two strong arms around me, lifting the remains of my limp body. I was drowning; I kept fighting for the air in my longs. It was taking over, my sobs came reputedly. I was having a total breakdown, Edwards arms weren't making it easier on my. He were gently holding me, leaning his chin on my forehead. I cried and cried, and then cried a bit more. It seemed like it didn't want to stop, my body kept shaking, and it was like uncontrollable spasms. I kept seeing the man's chest on top of me, hearing his moans, feeling his bombs. It made me sick, I felt like I needed to through up. I had started to sweat, the sickness were thickening me in my throat. I jumped up from Edwards embrace, and in to the bath room. My body did what it needed, I sat in silence for a while, catching my breath, calming my sobs and trying to clear my mind. After everything, it felt really nice to be in Edwards's arms, to nice. I took a breath and went back into the room, Edward were still sitting in my bed, looking blank.

"Am…I'm sorry about that, I don't know what happened" I said, locking straight at him. I felt my heart breaking, he were so beautiful. I felt so much, so much hate towards him. I saw that his eyes were wandering over my body, noticing my broses and bare skin. I took a step closer to my hanger, lifting the robe of it. Edward took his eyes of me, letting me change in to it. I turned around when I was reedy and looked at him.

"I don't need to see Carlisle, I'm find. I just had a weak moment there, but now I'm find" I told him. He meet my face, it made my heart race again. I hoped he didn't hear it, but of course he did he was a vampire.

There was a knock on the door and Alice came in.

"Thank you" Edward said, turning to his sister.

"I saw you needed me" she answered and blinked at him. I hadn't meet Alice since they left either and my stomach took another turn for the worse. I successfully calmed it down and faced Alice. Alice always made me glad before, but I was so disappointed whit her. Edward may not love me; there were nothing to do about that. But Alice, did she fake our friendship to? She never even said goodbye, weren't I even worth a goodbye? That was a betrayal for shore.

"Hello Bella" Alice tingly voice said. I nodded to her in a response.

"How are you doing?" she asked, like nothing had happened, like they never were gone at all.

"Same old, same old" I answered her ironically. I knew what she was referring to, but she had nothing to do whit that.

"Still stubborn I see" she said whit a smile.

"And you are still minding others peoples business" I answered her quickly. It felt wrong snapping at Alice, but they seemed to think that they could just strut in here, and act like nothing. I was not Bella they knew of, anymore. They exchange looks and Edward seemed to shake his head.

"Bella, like Edward has told you we have a lot to tell you, and explain to you. But first it would be best if you saw Carlisle. There are some things he never got too talked to you about, and it is pretty important" she looked at me seriously.

"First of all, you don't need to talk above my head. I saw that you shake your head Edward. And please stop telling me what to do, I have gone..Through a lot lately, and I just need to be alone, that's all" this was really hard facing them both and standing my ground. When all I wanted was to love them both.

"I only told Alice that you did not want to see Carlisle" Edward said, looking at me whit that face again.

"Enough!" I shouted."Why are you both here? You left me, you both left me and now you want to play friends again! And why are you looking at me like that?" I was facing Edward; I wanted my answers from him. Edward just looked at me, I had never seen him this speechless before. Finally he spoke.

"I am sorry Bella, I am so sorry. I thought I did the best by leaving you, for you. I see now that it was wrong. I only made this happen instead" he said and pointed at me. I couldn't believe my ears, what was he saying? None of it made sense, it only made me mad. I turned to Alice again.

"And you? What are your excuse?" I asked her whit anger.

"Edward thought that way, we others didn't. But in respect for my brother I silently went whit him. I'm so sorry for that Bella, I should have said goodbye to you, and after all you are my best friend" she told me. This was all too much, I was so angry. I didn't know what to say and I felt like I didn't have anything to say to them either. I kept thinking about Jacobs's question, and my answer. I felt another stomach turn happening, I ran towards the toilet again.

My whole body aced, every bruse pounded, reminded me of the scenario in the woods. I felt ashamed by that reminder I knew Edward had seen me naked, exposed. I felt so angry; I had so much anger inside of me.

I brushed of my teeth before I stepped out from the bathroom. My steps were heavy, and before I knew it I was falling down. Two strong arms cashed me, and there I was again. Face to face whit Edward.

**The End on this one...Pleas don't forget to review!**


	7. I do, I don't ?

**Hello again!**

**This chapter was hard writing, and I am not satisfied whit it at all, but I don't have time looking at it any Moore. Not if you want some more any ways. I have some of my favorite lines in this one, from series and song. Some are changed a bit some other not, let me know if you noticed them.**

**From today I don't think i will be posting every day any more, have a lot in school and I also am doing a indie film in two weeks, so I have gut to practise some lines. But I know my self, and nothing can stop me from fan-fiction, but I wanted to let you know so that you don't think I abounded the story. **

**Sorry for sounding repetitive, but pleas review. Many of you have added my story to your favorite story list, wich by the way exiteds my so much. But some times its really fun to hear in words what you gays liked, it motervates me and ceeps me going. **

**/Emma**

**I do, I don't ?**

I looked him straight in the eyes, feeling really confused. I wanted him to hold me so bad, but at the same time I hated his hands on me. My feelings were playing pranks on me, making my heart bead really fast. I quickly recalled Alice being in my room as well; Edward noticed and lifted me up. He looked at me, bended himself down a bit.

"Bella seriously, how are you feeling?" he asked while looking into my eyes.

"Not so good" I answered him sincerely.

"I thought so" he said, he kept looking at me, waiting for something.

"I don't want to go whit you Edward" I said, looking him straight to his face, mostly for my own good. I did not want to talk to Carlisle, but I both wanted and didn't want Edwards Company.

"I know Bella, but you need to. Carlisle needs to give you some antibiotics for your head" he told me calmly.

"I will go to the hospital on my own, when I have gotten dressed" I answered him. I felt like such a child but I didn't want any more humiliation. I looked for Alice, wondering why she was so quiet. But she was gone, that was a fast visit.

"Bella" he called for my attention, still holding my arms. "You know why you need to see a doctor right? Besides the medicine?" he asked looking questioning towards me. And I knew, of course I knew, I just didn't want to talk about this whit Edward. So I nodded, hoping that it was enough to be an answer.

"Carlisle did not examine you before you woke, he was planning to, but then like I said, you woke. So you really need to do one." He said slowly. "I know this must be hard Bella, but I am here whit you" he said. I removed myself from his grip and backed up a few steps from him.

"What makes you think I want you here?" I asked him. I saw something change in his facial expression, he looked….sad. But then again I had mistaken things before.

"Bella I know you are having a hard time trusting me, believing what I am saying is true. And if you don't want me here I will respect that, but I am hoping you can let your anger aside for a little while and let me help you right now" he answered. Still not taking his eyes of me.

"Edward I don't know what to say, I am so tired I just want to lay down and pull myself together a bit. I don't have the strength to see Carlisle right now. It's bad enough that you have seen me naked and then making me face you afterwards." I said. He looked away from me, I couldn't tell why. He hid his face and buckled his hands again.

"When I find who did this to you Bella, I do not know what I am going to do." Edward said whit a growling voice. "I am so sorry for what has happened to you, if I would have been here, you would not have to be in this situation" he said not tuning his head around.

"I don't need you to feel sorry Edward. And you weren't here; you did not want to be eater" I sad, hurt by my own words. Feeling my emotions buckle up again, I was like a running faucet whit a broken handle. No one could turn me of, and trying only made it worse. The irony is that I kept on trying, trying to stop the dam water. It was no use, it ran like a flood. And I just stood there, ashamed whit heating sheiks, again feeling like a total fool.

"That is not true Bella. I wanted to be here, it hurt me not to be. I fought every minute against the thought of coming back or not." He said. I was too tired to listen, was he rally lying to me, straight to my face, so that he could bring me back to Carlisle?

"Edward, you don't need to lie to me, I can handle the trough. I have been handling it for over half a year now. Lying only makes things worse" I told him. Feeling my own hands shut and tense. I sat down on the bed feeling exhausted. Edward took two steps towards me and then kneeled down on the floor in front of me, facing me from beneath.

"Bella" he uttered my name slowly. "I am not lying to you" he took my hands trying to make me face him. I didn't want to, the tears made it hard for me to see, I felt his gaze on me and it made me feel so foolish.

"Bella I am not lying, I was lying when I said that I did not want you. I thought I was protecting you by leaving, leaving whit my world, and leaving you whit yours." he talked so soft. I looked at him, he was so beautiful, my heart couldn't take it, and it started to beat eaven more. Making its sound even hearable to me, it was pathetic.

"So I am telling you I never stopped loving you, never stopped thinking of you. I could not forget even if I wanted to. I told you before that when we feel something, especially love, we do not forget. I would never forget about you Bella." He was sitting there looking at me, uttering the words that I had been longing for him to say since he left, and now, numbness. I felt even more betrayed then before. If that was true he weren't letting me make my own decision, he made them for me. Thinking he knew what was better for me, than I did, it made me feel like a ten year old.

"Am I that incapable of making my own decisions? That you were willing to leave me just because of it? Making me face six months of hell, making me feel unwilling to live anymore and making me think that I was never, not ever, loved by you. Was I that incapable?" I asked him. He looked at me and then closed his eyes tightly.

"That will always be my biggest mistake" he said before opening his eyes again. I looked back at him; I felt so much hate and so much love towards him. I wanted to fall into his arms, embracing him whit all the love I had, letting him know that it was all still there. But I wasn't shore it was, were the love really that strong? I had so many what ifs before, and now I had answers, but they were not healing me they were breaking me down even more. I believed the lie, and now I couldn't handle the trough.

"Edward, I don't know what to say, this is all too much to process" I said to him. I took a new breath, trying to clear my head. New anger came upon me, anger towards him. Did he think I was that weak, that I would just let everything go and let him in again? I took a crucial decision, letting him know just where I stood.

"I really would want to forgive and forget Edward…. I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you!" I said whit anger, but still frightened by my own words. His eyes went wide, and he let out a sight. He bit his lip and closed his eyes again.

"Bella" he said. Then I saw it in his eyes, genuine sadness. "Alice told me you were going to say that" he then said. Those words startled me a bit, making me questioning my harsh words.

"And you still stayed" I asked.

"I needed to tell you the truth, everything else did not matter" he said walking towards the door. "Bella, you really should see Carlisle you know" his hole appearance had changed, this truly were affecting him.

"I know, but how can I?" I thought of how he had seen me naked, I felt embarrassed again.

"What do you mean?" he asked me. He might have been able to read people's minds, the easy way I mean, but this wasn't really a guessing situation. Things were pretty clear, I had been raped. Carlisle had seen me naked, wasn't that humiliation enough.

"You know what I mean" I answered him.

"Bella, this is his job. He deals whit these kinds of situations often" he said.

"I don't care if he has seen other people naked; I care if he has seen me. And not just him, everybody else as well. They will always know what I look like now." I said tilting my head down.

"No Bella" he said

"No? No what?" that was not a yes ore now question.

"No, everyone else did not see you, only me, Carlisle and Alice" he said turning towards me. Making me blush even more.

"Was that supposed to calm me down?" I said and started to laugh. I didn't know why, it wasn't funny. Edward looked at me; even more confused looking than before. My body started to shake again, a response to the laughing.

"Why was that funny?" he asked.

"It wasn't" I said. My feelings took a turned for the worse, I started to cry. How could this things possibly happen? How can one oscillate like that? "Not funny, only sad" I managed to get out. I never wanted Edward to see me like that. I had imagined his first time seeing me naked so many times, and now for him to be telling me that he saw me. For him to actually say those words, cashed me of guard and made me so, so sad. He took three steps forward, and once again I was in Edwards embrace, only this time I was hugging him back.

**Ok so, bella were wery angry in this one. stay toned and se what happens next. /Emma**


	8. Life is hard

**So first of all: Sorry for the lack of uppdates. I felt my English was lacking to much to pots another shapter untill i got better. I am not that good yet but I still wanted to post now, so here it comes.**

**Life is hard**

**BPOV**

I was walking down the steps of the front of Edwards's house. I had just been examined by Carlisle, having to talk about it just made me relive it again. After a while of listening to Carlisle and his advice I just tuned out. It was too much to bear; I know what had happened to me, images kept returning. I guess I would never forget, nobody, not even Carlisle could know how this felt for me. I really needed him to stop trying to make me feel better. I could not feel better right now, not when I still felt like this man, whom ever he was, was still on me. I had heard about girls in my situation, of how the feeling of never getting clean would not go away. I was starting to believe those girls because that was how I felt. I felt like dirt inside and out, and I did not know how to heal from this.

"Are you leaving?" Edwards voice was soft, I could sense his I-am-so-sorry-this-happened-to-you- look. Was this how people were going to treat me now? Like a fragile little girl? That would not help at all.

"Yes, Carlisle is done whit his stuff, I did not like his daddy advise though" A little laugh escaped from my lips but that sound would not fool no one. Edward remained still on the top of the steps, but changed his puppy eyes into something I could not tell.

"He knows what he is doing Bella. You will need his help to get better, and if you want I will like to help you as well" he gave me a light smile; it did not reach the eyes.

"Hey Edward about that hug…I..." I saw Edwards body harden, I did not want him to get the wrong idea about that, and I needed to tell him. Not just for him but for myself as well. I could not let him hurt me again, and how could I ever be whit him after this?

"I hope you know that the hug was just me needing comfort? I..I do not know where to go from here but I need to figure it out alone" I faced him and swallowed, this was so hard for me to do. My body aced for him, wanted him, needed him, but what was there for me to do?...Nothing, there was just a whole lot of nothing.

"I know Bella" he took to steps down the steers. His body language was calm, not like mine, which by the way was screaming get-me-out-of-here.

"I want to be there for you, it does not matter in which way, just as long as I know your safe" He put his hand on my shoulder, a sympathy gesture.

"Safe?" I started to shake my head. "It is hard to be safe when you do not know what to stay safe from" I meant that in several ways.

"I know, that is why you need us. We can protect you Bella" Edward was looking me straight in the eyes, waiting for me to except his offer. He did not get that I meant that safe involved him as well.

"That will just make me feel trapped. Plus I do not want you to miss your own life, you know" I pulled away from him, like I had done so many times since he came back. That did not mean it got any less hard.

"Bella, you are not a burden to me. If it does make you feel any better it would just be me. Checking in on you and making myself available if you would want me?" The last sentence did mean more that he was saying I heard the real content. He was telling me he was going to wait for me, that he was not giving up. It made it almost funny that he as well tried to use one expression that meant a totally different thing. Only his was meant to be positive when mine was not.

"And we do know what you need to stay safe from….the werewolves" his voice had hardened whit the last word.

"It is not Jacob Edward, he would never that too me." I felt tired, like I had not slept for days.

"Jacob! Is Jacob a werewolf?" my body stiffened, I grabbed my mouth and started shaking my head. Crap I had just told Jacobs secret.

"When did this happen Bella? When did he turn?" Alice and Jasper came out from the front door. Locking rather expressionless.

"I..he is not. I said the wrong name" I lied; he was not going to believe me. I was a bad liar, but that was just pathetic.

"Bella, you do know that you could be protecting the one who did this to you" Edward made a gesture towards my body. It made me embarrassed.

"Edward you do not know anything and I cannot discuss this whit you!" my voice hit a high and I hoped he would get the clue, even though it was obvious. My legs had started to walk; it was one of my defense mechanisms. Walk away and you will not have to face the problem. I should know better than trying to do that whit vampires. Edward was in front of me before I had a chance to open the door to my car. He pushed the door shut and growled.

"This is not that simple Bella. You know that we did catch that sense were you where found. And besides that, do you know what he is able to do to you?" his hand was holding the car door shut like something made out of iron.

"Like I said Edward, Jacob would never hurt me. At least he has the decency of not lying to me. He would NEVER do something like that" My words hit Edward hard, he took a step back.

"Are you comparing what I did to this?" he said whit an unsteady voice.

"No I am comparing you whit Jacob! Like I said, he did not do this so there is nothing more to compare other than honesty" I grabbed the handle of the car door again and this time I opened it.

"Bella" it was Alice voice.

"You said that you did not know who did this to you right?" she was standing beside the car door right next to me. I gave her a nod in response.

"And Edward and I could sense that there had been a werewolf whit you, so therefore…" I did not let her finish.

"I was whit Jacob earlier, maybe you smelled that!" I heard Edward sight, Alice in her turn went silent.

"What, am I not allowed to be whit Jacob?" I asked whit a snotty voice. Everyone was silence, Jasper made a coughing sound further behind me. I did not know why, vampires was not in the need to cough.

"For god's sake..What is it?" I demanded.

"Define being whit Jacob" Alice finally said. I got the point right away, what she wanted to know was if I had given myself to Jacob before I was raped by this someone. I got angry again, this was not the point and it most certainly was not their biasness.

"You got to be kidding me" I turned to Edward. "You do not get to pry in my personal life Edward, you lost that privilege when you left me" I was telling him this because I knew this was his question. Edward turned his head away from me, closing his eyes.

"We are not prying, Alice asked because of the scent. If it is from Jacob and you are sure that it was not him, well than we are at square one again." Edward put a hand on his forehead; it looked like he had a headache. Of course I knew he wasn't able to have one. He was reacting to the realization of me being whit Jacob, ore so he thought. He was hurt.

"Well, guess what, you do not have to be my investigators. I am not taking this matter any further..so..me being whit Jacob doesn't matter" I know this answer was going to hurt Edward even more, and a part of me felt good about seeing him like this, but really it was not their biasness. I saw Alice glancing at Edward, I followed her gaze in spite of my head telling me no. He stood whit his back towards me, but I could see him shake. Pain came rushing through me, I felt sorry about lying to him, making him feel like this. Was he crying? He could not cry? Could he? Then I heard Alice whisper to him, something involving the words no and Jacob. Her words sounded like a warning. He was not sad, he was mad and he was going to take it out on Jacob. I flew out of the car, throwing myself at Edward.

"Don't you dear touch Jacob. I swear to god if you hurt him!" I broke off, what do you threaten a vampire whit? "I….I will never speak to you again" I used myself as a weapon hoping it would work. Edward turned slowly, facing me but not looking at me.

"I would not hurt him Bella, but I guess your reaction answers what I needed to know" he closed his eyes again, this time so hard he got wrinkles on his forehead.

"My reaction is not telling you anything Edward, My reactions in based on protecting Jacob, as a friend" Edward opened his eyes but he was still not looking at me directly.

"And what are you protecting him from exactly?" he asked.

"Just stop it" I turned around to look at Alice, I could not see her or Jasper anywhere.

"They gave us some privacy" Edward said, answering my question to their disappearance. Good, now she decided we needed privacy. That was ironical.

"Edward, I am sick of talking. I haven't had a change to be alone at all since..you know..and I am really tired. Can we talk about this later?" I looked at him, he looked at me. His glare was so intense; my body reacted in its usual way, by getting butterflies. Despite everything, everything that had happened since he left, I still wanted him. I wanted him so bad my body aced. When I saw him in that way, whit those eyes, it made me forget. I was on cloud nine; I needed to fight through this if I ever was going to heal again. The funny thing was that the pain by him leaving was actually worse than the act that had happened to me recently. That hurt to off course, but…I loved him so deeply and he left me. I felt like a fool, like a stupid teenage girl who did not understand anything.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice made me come back from the blur in my head.

"Honestly, I am thinking how foolish I have been. How foolish I still am. I cannot stop thinking of how you left things, of how you left me feeling. It hurts Edward, and then the thing in the forest happened and still all I can think about is you. Is that the way it should be?" he looked at me still.

"I don't know" he simply said. I was used to Edward and him always knowing the best things to say but now he was out of the right words.

"I need to leave, I am sorry" I climbed inside the car, closed it and drove away.

**4 Days later.**

When twilight came I was still awake. I had not slept for days except for a couple of minutes here and there. My body was so tired, I was exhausted but my mind was wide awake. I had been turning and turning in the bed for hours now. Nothing seemed to help. Charley had made an effort whit dinner earlier, but I could not find myself to eat. My stomach told me no, in the same time I felt hunger, I was starved. It had started to show on my body, I was getting thinner. The blackness under my eyes was a reminder to my sleeping situation. Ore my lack of it, so to speak. When I was not fixating on sleeping, my mind was whit Edward. Those few moments I was not thinking of him, I was thinking about the forest. Pushing myself to figure out who the man was. I knew that voice so well, but I just could not break through the barrier in my mind. Cal it defense mechanism or whatever, I just could not reach the freaking face of the voice. I had called in sick for school; I told Charley a lie about something involving the stomach flue. That would cover why I was not eating as well, he bought it. Charley was working a lot of extra hours lately, he had told me something about people going missing. The extra hours were a relief, it would give me some time alone and I really needed that. Edward had kept his distance and so had the rest of the Cullen's. Edwards lack of presence made me sad, the part of me that was weak that is. The other part of me, the angry, hurt Bella – was relived. Sadly the weak part of me was bigger than I thought, it consumed me. Making me yet again to think of him, of the memories, the kisses, the nearness. I missed it all and most of all I missed him as a friend. So many times this last couple of days I had held the telephone in my hand, reedy to call him, reedy to give in. God knows I wanted too, but what was I supposed to say? "Hey there stranger, want to hang out or something?" there was no words, and there was a lot of pride. I hated the stubborn side about myself; it could be a curse some times. Would it be so wrong to call him? Perhaps simply text him? The curse told me not to, not to let him win. Like it was some kind of game for me to win. I felt like I had to be the single winner on this one. Was I though? Had I not lost enough? My life, my pride, the feeling of being safe, my virginity, Edward? Wasn't this enough? Edward was the one thing I was able to get back and I was just too stubborn to admit that I needed him. Everybody deserves a second chance right? At least so I had always thought, but when things happen to you, your thoughts tend to changes. But no matter what excuses I told myself I could not shake the thought of him. He was everywhere, I needed to speak whit him, and this was not working. I picked up my phone and texted him, asking him to come see me. At once I got an answer and a couple of seconds later he stood in my room.

"Jhees that was fast" I said breath taken of his everyday beauty.

"I was right outside" he answered calmly.

"Oh" I said stupidly. "Why?" I then asked.

"I still don't know who hurt you, I was watching out so it does not repeat itself. He leaned against the wall, his eyes watching me carefully. "Are you alright?" he crossed his arms against his chest, looking very protective, looking very handsome.

"No" I said, because I was not. I knew he saw that, there was no reason to lie.

"Have you not been eating at all Bella?" his words did not surprise me, I knew what he saw. What surprised me was his tone, it was way too formal.

"I have been having a hard time whit that" I told him.

"Obviously" he nodded towards me.

"Why are you acting like this?" I blurred out.

"I guess I am mad" he kept talking in the same tone.

"About" I asked and made a rolling- keep- going- kind- of- gesture.

"About everything"

"Well se, that everything you're referring to is not my fault you know" I said and felt the hurt Bella taking charge.

"I know, I did not say that I was mad at you" he answered.

"Oh" I said again, once more sounding so stupid.

I fell silent, for four days I had been having this conversation in my head, now I seem to have lost the words. He did not seem to know what to say either; once in a while he shifted his position, from left to right leg and so on. I sat in the bed, picking at the covers, trying to remind myself to breathe now and then. It started to get really awkward when he finally spoke.

"You can trust me Bella, I know I am not worthy of you trust but I want you to know that I am not going anywhere" I looked up at him, tears was filling my eyes threatening me about spilling over.

"I want to trust you, I miss you. But I do not know how, I am going crazy whit all the thinking. The hardest part is not coming up whit any conclusions" the tears found its way over and started to run.

"I am sorry, but I cannot help them." I motioned to the tears "Every time I am whit you….I just… my emotions…" I couldn't finish the sentence; my voice broke in to sobs.

"I know, I cannot count the times I have wanted to cry, but as you probably know I am not able to" he was sitting beside me now, whit his hands carefully in his lap. Like he was afraid to touch me.

"Why is this so hard?" I was being really honest in my questions to him. I just could not keep them in any longer.

"Because I hurt you" his voice was like a whisper, so soft, like an angels. The anger was gone. He was always so perfect, even when he had done wrong he was still perfect.

"You did. I want to be able to not think of you, but no matter how hard I try I just find myself whit you in my mind again. I did not want to be that girl, which is dependent on a boy, gives him everything and in the end gets hurt. And yet, here I am in that exact position" I tried to wipe my tears, calm them down just a little bit. It did not work.

"And I cannot believe that I was so dependent on this girl, loved her, if the word love is enough in that matter, tried my best to keep her safe and in the end, here I am and have been doing the opposite to my intentions" I looked up into his eyes, they were worm but very, very sad. For the first time in a long time I was actually believing in his words. He was sorry.

"So I guess we are both very sad then" I gave him my first real smile, my first in months. He tilted his head to the side and softly brushed some hair from my face.

"I believe so" he whispered.

**Well tell me what you think =)**


	9. Forgivness

**A nother chapter for you today, i like chapter 8 and this one much more than the other ones. I think i will be edeting the others so that they will fit more tho the story. keep in mind that English is my second language.**

**Forgiveness**

**BPOV**

We sat next to each other in what felt like hours. Only this time it was not an awkward silence. It was a silent understanding, he was sorry, truly sorry and I was ready to start whit my forgiveness. It would not be easy, but I wanted him to bad to let him go. I needed him in my life; the time apart had just convinced me about that even more. Now I know the truth, he made a mistake, he loved me. Knowing that and knowing he was as sad as I was about that mistake would definitely help me in the process. A little bit of myself was more whole already, but just a small part. I had Edward now, which negatively meant I also would have more time whit the other problem. Recovering from the forest trauma. Edward was so patient whit me, he sat quietly beside me and gave me what I had asked for, time. Now all I wanted was for him to touch me, no more time, at least not for now.

"Hold me" my whisper reached him and he held me. He had held me before, but this time was different. He held me like he never wanted to let go, like he was never going to, it was the safest I felt in a long time. There in Edwards's arms I could finally sleep.

When I woke up I was still in Edwards embrace. We were lying in the bed next to each other, he was stroking my head.

"Good morning" he said gently.

"It feels good to wake up beside you again" I said in a smile. He smiled back to me and this time the smile lit up his whole face. It was true and genuine.

"I am glad you think so" his hand was sliding from my head down to my shoulders and up again. The sensation made chills all over my body. I lifted my hand up to his face and stroke it gently.

"I have really, really missed you" I said in a slow voice making shore he got just how much I meant it.

"Do you believe me when I say that I have missed you too? I have missed you every second of everyday"

"I do believe you" I said whit tears in my eyes. "I do" he smiled again and it made me warm inside and out. After a while lying like that I excused myself, I needed a human minute. I took my time in the bathroom, I felt for a shower. The feeling of not being clean enough was still there. Remembering me how gross I was, telling me over and over about the man who raped me. It was hard even thinking the word, rape, even the word was dirty. I was still sore between my legs and the broses was still dark blue. I let out a sight and filled my mouth whit the running water. When I was finished in the shower I brushed my teethes and putted on a robe before walking back to Edward. Only to find that the room was empty, there was no one there. Had he left again? I sat down on the bed trying not to hyperventilate. I putted my hand on my hand and felt the hurt starting to come.

"Bella!" I heard Edwards voice say worriedly. "What is it?" he said and kneeled down in front of me, placing his hands on my knees.

"I thought you left again" I said and tilted my head a little so I could see him.

"No Bella, no." He was shaking his head. "I will keep my promise this time, I was only making you breakfast" he took my face in his hands and moved in closer until he was just inches away. "I love you" he said before he gave me the gentlest kiss he had ever given me. When he broke away I got sad at once, I wanted more.

"Don't stop" I said pulling him closer. He lifted me up and putted me down at the top of the bed. He laid himself down on top of me, resting his legs between mine. One arm was on my side, holding his weight of me; the other was close to my face on the other side of me. He moved in closer again, stroking my lips whit his hand. It made a tingle that moved through my nerves and hit my those. A moan left my mouth, I did not even get blushed by that, I was to swallowed up by the moment. The scent of him, him being on top of me, well everything about him was so wonderful I felt like crying again. If I had cried it would not have been the sad ones. He finally kissed me again and I kissed him back, hard. I guess desperation of the lost time came over me, I leaned in closer to him, pushing on his back so hi would get even closer. He didn't resist instead he followed my lead and took me closer in his arms. His kisses grew more hungrily as well, it was fantastic. I could taste him, not just smell him and he didn't pull away. My moans grew louder; I felt my body reacting to his touch. I did not think about anything besides me and Edward. He keep kissing me and I him. My hands reached the line of his shirt and I fumbled my way up his back. Touching every inch of his back, I had never had this kind of moment whit him before. Right now there was no hurt involved. I was stroking his chest and breathing heavily when he suddenly pulled away. Leaving me breathless and alone on the bed. He stood in the corner of the room whit his back towards me. He seemed to struggle whit breathing himself.

"Edward?" I asked worriedly. He turned around and came back to the bed, he sat down beside me.

"I think it is time for some breakfast" he said and smiled towards me again.

"But" I started to say.

"No buts, you must be hungry and I would feel better if you ate something" he was so avoiding the topic of the bed.

"I am not hungry" I said shortly. "Not hungry for food anyway" I smiled and broke away from his gaze because of the blood flooding to my face. The natural reaction to me being uncomfortable.

"You need to eat Bella" his tone changed to more formal again.

"I will eat when I am hungry" I answered him like I answer my father when he forgets that I am eighteen.

"When was the last time you ate something then?" I know he meant well but he was pushing my buttons. By talking about me and the eating, he was also reminding me about the thing I needed to forget. I instantly felt dirty again, he took my silence for an answer.

"That log? You need to think about it, that's too long Bella"

"I was not thinking about the last time I ate, you were making me think about something else" I said and stood up from the bed.

"And I am not teen years old, I decide for myself. I will eat when I am hungry." I was hoping that he heard that this was final, there were not going to be any more discussion about it.

"Bella, I was not trying to force the memories on you. I just thought that you needed to eat." He sat still on the bed, watching my every move.

"And now you know I don't" I stepped in front of my dresser and started pulling out some clothes. He didn't say anything so I guess he got the point. Looking at myself in the mirror I saw how skinny I looked, but what could I do? I was going to trough up everything I ate anywise. My stomach and I did not agree right now.

"What day is it?" I asked a little bit embraced.

"Friday, why?" he looked a bit confused were he sat.

"I could not remember, that all" I told him. "I need to get dressed, I will be right back" I didn't look at him when I left the room. Maybe it was childish but then again he threatened me like one, so why should I be the bigger person? The clothed fitted me loosely, I knew I had lost some weight when Edward was gone but this last week really had made it more obvious. Of course I would not admit that to Edward. That would be like letting him win in a board game, no; not mentioning it would be for the better. I walked back to my room, Edward meet me in the hallway.

"I cleaned the table" he said to my questioning look.

"Ok" I answered and walked in to my room.

"Don't be angry whit me Bella" he said and followed me inside.

"Don't try to be all parental on me then" I sat down on the bed again. He stood against the wall on his usual spot in the room.

"I did not know I was doing that" he said whit humor in his voice.

"Oh ok this is funny to you" and I was angry again. How much anger could one person have? A lot obviously.

"No its not." He answered and changed back to humorless again.

"Bella I only want to help you, let me help you get better"

"You say that like it is a cold or something, it's not Edward" I lay down on the bed and stared at the sealing.

"I think you hear me say things right now because you are on edge all the time. And I know that you are and why. But pleas know that I am not trying to step on any those." He said carefully.

"Edward..I know. But let me take my time whit things and stop asking me about getting better all the time. It's only been a few days, it will take some more that to make me functional again." my stomach growled, perfect he would definitely hear that. But to my surprise he did not say anything; maybe he listened to what a just said.

"What would you want to do today?" he asked me then and came closer.

"Nothing, I need to do nothing." I told him. He sat down in the rocking chair.

"I am good at nothing" he said and smiled towards me. I saw him but I keep staring at the sealing. I did want to do something, I wanted Edward to hold me, kiss me, to make me forget.

"Are you afraid of me?" I finally said whit a bit of humor. I did not want to be angry anymore.

"No" he said and laughed. It was so nice to see him like that. He possessed the ability to light a room whit his laugh.

"Then why the distance?" I made some room in the bed, a gesture for him to come closer. He laughed again but raised himself from the chair and lay down beside me. Just as I was leaning in closer my phone rang. Edward jumped up and got it for me. I stared at him, which was just one of those things I did not want him to do. He acted like I was sick and needed tender care. I shook my head before answering the phone.

"Hello" I answered.

"Bella, Bella, Bella" the voice on the other side said. I stiffened, it was the voice. I motioned at Edward that I was going to take it out in the hallway before moving away. I did not want him to overhear this.

"Who is this?" I said, pretending to be oblivious towards the caller.

"Oh I think you know the answer to that" the man said whit a smirk in his voice. I froze, he called my bluff.

"Why are you calling me?" I asked. Hopefully he would not hear how scared I was.

"I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your company and that I cannot wait till we meet again" I started trembling, he was not finished. Edward had been right I was not safe. I started to walk down the stairs in the hopes of Edward hearing even less. I knew he would hear me, but he would not hear him so I could at least pretend that it was a friend or someone from school.

"The English test is moved, can they do that?" the man started laughing.

"Good girl, don't let Edward know it's me. I am stronger than him, so if you want him to live I suggest you keep up the good work."

"I know you are a werewolf" I whispered. I shouldn't have done that because Edward was at my side in an instant. He grabbed the phone and started talking. I heard a click on the other side on the phone and it went silent. Edward turned towards me.

"Who was that?" he asked carefully.

"My friend from English" I said to quickly.

"No Bella it was not, I can tell that you are lying and I heard you whisper werewolf" He grabbed the phone tighter, he was upset. I tried to turn it around.

"Are you spying on me?" I said whit a faked anger.

"I cannot help that I have super hearing Bella. And I noticed I change in your body language when you answered the phone." He said. He reached for his phone in his pocket and called a number.

"Alice, I need you to tell everyone that this UN known someone is after Bella" he gestured and talked very fast. I only heard him say something about him calling then I was lost. He and Alice had some supernatural speaking on top of the hearing. I did not like being talked about as a third person. Finally he hanged up and faced me again.

"You need to stay at our place for a while" he was back to his formal voice again.

"You know Charley would never agree to that" I said stunned.

"Then you need to inform him about the situation"

"Situation? Is that your Carlisle voice? Stop acting like that!" I screamed at him. He blinked twice before answering me.

"Bella, this man won't stop. He knows you, has your number and knows where you live. How do you want me to act?" his voice was calmed but his body screamed the opposite.

"I want you to act normal and to stop talking over my head. You are making decisions without even asking me what I want." I crossed my arms against my chest.

"Are you even listening Bella? He could kill you." I saw the act of a helpless man in front of me. He was being so frustrated whit me and all I could think about was keeping my secret to the minimum.

"Pleas no more fighting, we have been fighting since you came back. It's too much." I said and putted my hands to my head. I was starting to get a headache. Edward did not say anything, he was fighting whit his temper.

"I am sorry" he said whit a too calm voice. I knew it was his time to pretend now.

"What would you like to do? What is the next step in your point of view?" he said while closing his eyes as another try in calming himself.

"For examples carrying on whit living my life as normal as possible." I saw the tension in his body even though he did the best he could to hide it.

"And by that you mean?" he asked.

"By that I mean I live here, this is my home. I will not change my life because of this. You do not have a clue to who he is, you might never do" I studied the floor, to ashamed to look up.

"And do you? Have a clue that I?" he asked me suspiciously.

"I would not say that" I answered

"But you do know something?" he stepped closer, but not to close. He gave me the space that I needed.

"I know something, yes. But I am not going to say what, he threatened me and I am taking that threat seriously." I backed away from him a little bit.

"Bella, there is seven of us and only one of him. There is not even a threat."

"Good then I do not need to tell eater, if he is not a threat then it doesn't matter what I know" Edwards jaw tightened.

"Bella have you been wit Jacob?"

"WHAT? Are you seriously asking me that right now?" I half shouted at him. Looking him straight in the eyes.

"Yes" he simply said.

"I am not answering that" I told him. I had not been whit Jake, but what did this question come from all off a sudden? We were back to fighting again. I started to walk towards the door.

"I think you should leave" I said when I reach it. Ignoring his glare from the kitchen.

"No" he shook his head.

"No?" I asked back.

"No" he said again. "I will not leave you, not without an answer." He stood pinned against the floor.

"No Edward I have not had sex whit Jake, OK!" I opened the door and nodded my head towards it. "There, was that what you needed to hear? Are you satisfied that he was not the one who took my virginity?" I was harsh I knew that, but he was hurting me again. His expression changed into hurt.

"That was not why I asked Bella. I asked because of the scent, I needed to know if the man was a werewolf or not." He said whit a sad voice. I could not tell if he was sad because of my anger ore because of he felt sad for me. I had a second of bad guilt about my behavior; of course that was why he asked. But why did he not say that from the beginning instead of making me think different? I stood like a fool holding the front door open, trying to make him leave when all he wanted was to help me. Alice peeped her head inside the door and I screamed, almost slamming the door on her. The next thing I knew I was in Edwards embrace.

**Let me now about likes an dislikes...**


	10. Animal in a cage

**Another chapter then.**

**I do not own Twilight, i would love to though!**

**Animal in a cage**

**BPOV**

Alice's car was flying down the road; I was alone in the back seat. Edward wanted to sit beside me but I told him no. They were having a client conversation, I could see them nodding and shaking their heads. Alice having visions about Edwards's thoughts and Edward in his turn reading Alice's. Again I was treated like a child; I could not believe they had made me come along. Edward promised not to, then Alice came whit her unclear visions about me being alone and vulnerable. It turned out that she could not see clear in her visions when the werewolves was involved and that made Edward change his promise about leaving. I was furious and scared at the same time. On top of that I had missed calls from Jake which I needed to return. What would I tell him? I knew he was going to ask about the Cullen's and me. I had not had the chance to talk to my father either, he did not know about Edward being back. Jacobs rage would be noting compared to my fathers. Edward wanted me to tell Charley about what happened to me, so that I could get all the protection that I needed. He could forget that, he was seriously delusional if he thought I was going to agree whit that. I had agreed to come back to the house whit them so that they could "watch" me while the discussed "me" as their topic. Of course I understood why they worried, I did to. But I was still in shock; this situation did only make me close myself in again. I just accepted Edward and his mistakes and now "this" was coming between us. Uncomfortable was an easy word to what I was feeling. Other people was going to discuss my future, they were going to discuss what I had been through, while I was there. I felt like an animal in a cage, and everybody was on the outside watching me. It was sickening, when would the nightmare stop?

"Stop the car!" I shouted from the backseat. Alice stepped on the brakes at once. I jumped out of the car and lowered myself closer to the ground and through up. It was not that much in my stomach, my gorge burned whit every motion. I kept on hoping that Alice would keep Edward in the car. My life was humiliating enough; he didn't need to see my vomit too. After a while I was finally finished, I walked the walk of shame back to the car. Nobody said anything, which was a relief. Silence was nice it was the talking I hated. We turned in on the road leading up to the Cullen's residence. My hart started to beat really fast and hard. I started to wonder if it was trying to find its way out from there. My head was beating together whit my galloping hart, hitting me whit a hammer or something. The lack of food had started to shown in more ways than me getting thinner. Alice turned off the engine and they bout got out, I stayed. A minute alone was desperation by now. I wanted to calm down before I got inside. Otherwise my emotions would be put in my disadvantage. Edward opened my car door.

"Just a minute Edward" I looked at my hands which were shaking and sweating from being scared and me being nerves. Edward left the door open but started to walk towards the house. Alice walked inside but Edward waited on the porch. I took a couple of deep breaths and leaned my head against the seat. Its ok, its ok I keep repeating in my head. Of course this did not work; I only manage to make myself even more uncomfortable. I bit down on my sheiks, trying whit some pain instead. It worked; I had something else to focus on. I stepped out of the car and met up whit Edward on the porch.

"Reedy?" he asked me, giving me a light smile and offering his hand.

"No" I said and walked past him and in to the house. Everybody was sitting in the living room, waiting for me and Edward. They fell silent when they saw me, just like an animal in cage I thought.

"Bella" Carlisle said in a greeting voice. Everybody was facing me where I stood.

"Hey" I answered, looking at everything else except any of them. Edwards hand leaned in steady on my back, trying to reassuring me I was not alone.

"I made you some tea Bella" Esme said in her lovingly motherly way. It had started. Poor, poor Bella, I felt sick again.

"Thanks" I manage to say. Edward leaded me to an empty sofa; the rest of them sat in two others on both sides from us. To keep myself occupied I started to poor myself some tea. I felt seven eyes on me, watching me poor the tea, poor the milk and spooning it all together.

"Ok stop. You need to act normal around me; I can't stand how you are all acting." The irritation in my voice came shining through.

"We are sorry Bella, this really hurts us all and it is hard to know how to not step on any toes." Esme said, the others joined in whit nods. I sighted, this was really going to be hard. I did not want them to act strange, I did not want them to speak to me and I did not want them to speak above my head either.

"I know, let's just do this so I can go ok. I am hating this, so Edward why don't you say what you needed to say." I took a hold of my tea and hid behind being occupied whit it. Everyone's eyes turned towards Edward.

"We know two tings" Edward started. "One, this man is a werewolf" he looked at Alice. "And two, its somebody Bella knows." He turned to Carlisle. "We need to figure out who this someone is, as fast as possible" Carlisle nodded.

"I tried to convince Bella about telling Charley. But then we would have too much explain to do" he hesitated for a bit before continuing. "The fastest way to solve this is to call Jacob and explain everything to him." he did not look at me when he said this but I knew he saw me react. "He is Bella's friend, he would want to know who the man is as much as we do" I felt my hart racing again, Edward looked at me. Watching my expression, I knew he heard it because it was beating so fast by now. I had been thinking about talking to Jake myself, reality was not always so pleasant though.

"Is that such a good idea?" Rosalie said, speaking up from the sofa on the left from me. I gave her a confused look behind my tea mug. "I mean how can you know that he is not the one behind this?" she said calmly and in a way to nice voice to come from Rosalie. She actually looked sad; she was a good actor I thought.

"I know Jacob has nothing to do whit this because I recognize the man's voice and it is not his. But even if it weren't so I would know it wasn't him anyway, he would never hurt me." I sat down my tea on the table, another don't-look-at-me-trick.

"Can you remember anything about the voice Bella" Carlisle said from my right.

"Only that it is very familiar" and that was the truth. I couldn't get the voice to match any face a knew, but the voice was familiar alright.

"That is how we know it is somebody she knows" Edward filled in.

"It has to be somebody near Jacob as well" Alice said. "If he is a werewolf, which he is. He and Jacob knows each other, they would have to be in the same pack" she said in a conclusion.

"Not necessarily. Maybe this dog doesn't want anybody to know what he is. He would be able to hide it if he is old enough. Experienced werewolves have their changes under control" Edward told Alice.

"He has a point." Emmet said, for once he was serious. He held Rosalie's hand while looking towards Alice. Jasper sat beside her and looked blank; he had not looked at me since I told them to act normal. I guess looking like that was the best he could do. When I thought about it, this was the first time since my birthday that we were all gathered like this. It had been bad then, but this felt way, way worse than him wanting to feed on me. My mind wondered back to the forest, Edward and the others kept on talking. The man's voice echoed in my head, so familiar yet so out of reach. I closed my eyes when the memory's got worse. It felt like I was watching this happened to someone else, only the physical pain reminded me it was me and nobody else.

"Bella?" Edwards's voice said worriedly.

"I'm sorry what?" I said and opened my eyes.

"I said that I think I should call Jacob" he said while looking at me. That was not such a good idea. Jacob resented Edward, not just for him being a vampire but also because he saw what happened to me after he left. He saw the ugly trout, but he also blamed the vampires for what he himself had to go through.

"I don't know about this, it's overwhelming enough you all know, do we really need to tell more people?" I changed my position in the sofa, trying to wake my sleepy legs.

"Unfortunately I think we need to" Carlisle answered. He had his arm up on the back of the sofa, looking relaxed and worried at the same time. "He is our only lead so far" he continued. I gave Edward a pleading look, trying to make him say something in my favor. He didn't, instead he putted an arm on my knee and said.

"Carlisle is right Bella" of course he was, wasn't he always? This was the first time I actually felt a bit angry whit Carlisle. It was not his fault of course but I at least thought he would have some sense towards what I was dealing whit.

"I can't believe your making me do this" I said quietly.

"You do not have to do anything Bella, I will handle this" Edward said while stroking my knee.

"Edward you don't understand….Jacob will not speak whit you, not whit any of you. And still, I would not let you. If Jacob needs to know, I will have to tell him" I took a breath, coming to terms whit what I had to do. Jacob needed to hear it from me, I owed him that much.

"Bella I don't know. It's just, he could hurt you. He is still young in his transformation, a little bit of anger is all he needs" Edward was looking down in his lap.

"My god! you will not stop, will you? He has not hurt me once, and I have been through some pretty rough stuff when you all weren't here. I think you know by now booth Laurent and Victoria has been around, I mean since Alice has her gift and all. And he kept his calm around me all the time." Of course I did not need to tell them about Paul and Jacobs fight and me being there. That would just ruin my point.

"Don't look at me like that" I said to Edward who was looking like he did not believe me, and whit a tiny bit of hurt of me being so shore about Jacob. He turned his face away from me and looked at Alice.

"You never mentioned that" he said through his tight jaw.

"You told me not to watch Bella" she said whit her usual girly voice. "I actually didn't know about that" she then said.

"Anyway" I said and interrupted their little fight. "I will talk to Jacob, and I will do it alone." I said, taking the command for the first time. I could see that Edward wasn't happy whit this but he didn't protest.

"And when will you do this?" he asked.

"When I am reedy" I said in my childish tone. I had told him to lay off my back a bit and when he spoke to me like that he brought thirteen year old Bella forward.

"Bella my dear" Esme said, speaking up. "I know this might seem harsh but you do not have time on your side. It is dangerous every minute that we don't know who he is ore when he could show up. This person can be anyone, someone you least expect it to be." She tilted her head to the side and gave me a light smile in an I-am-sorry-way. I went through my hair whit my hand, flipping it away from my eyes.

"Ok..I guess I can call him now, asking if I could come" I said defeated.

"No, you are not going over there" Edward stood up. "We cannot cross those borders, so if anything were to happen, no one can protect you" there was anxiety in his voice again.

"Edward" I tried to continuo but he stopped me.

"Bella! Need I remind you that the reservation is the WEARWOLFS turf not only Jacobs, the werewolves?" he was struggling against the anger again.

"I am safe whit him" I answered. But his words was true, it was the werewolf's turf.

"It is not Jacob that I am worried about, even though I don't trust him" the others kept quiet, I couldn't reed their silence. They gave nothing away; I wished I had Edwards's ability so I would know if they were on my side ore his.

"I will go straight to Jacobs's house, in my car that I own by the way. How bad could it get?" I had learned by now that everything could always get worse. But then again a car drive straight to his house would not be a threat. Edward gave me a blank look; he was getting tired whit me. But he should not forget that I had some say in this to, after all it was my life.

"I think Bella is right Edward" Alice said. "We can follow her as long as we can, and then she can call us when she leaves." She smiled at me, letting me know she was on my side. The others seemed to agree to this, I was finally getting my way. Only nothing was satisfying whit this situation. Edward started walking across the floor, back and forth. He was considering this, I could tell.

"You will have you cell phone on the whole time. And you have to call right away when you leave. No stopping on the way, no matter what" he said very firmly.

"I will call Jacob" I stood up and left the room. After a couple of unanswered tries on his cell, I called his home number.

"Hello" Jacobs's dad answered on the third ring.

"Hey its Bella, is Jake there?" I asked politely.

"Am..Yeh he is, but he is in the shower"

"Ok, could you tell him that I will be stepping by? I really need to talk to him."

"Yeh, sure Bella. I can tell him that. Will you come alone?" he asked.

"Yes" that was weird, why did he ask that? Oh.. of course he meant if Charlie was coming to. I had started to get paranoid.

"See you soon then Bella" he said before he hung up. I texted Jacob just in case Billy would forget. I stood by the door in the hallway, telling myself that I could do this. When Edward came up to me.

"I'm not liking this at all Bella" he said and took my hand.

"Do you think I am?" I said, watching him. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again.

"I know you don't" he finally said. His eyes found mine, and I could swear that it looked like he was crying, minus the tears of course. I reach up towards his face and touched it.

"Don't worry, Jacob knows I am coming. Nothing is going to happen." I looked at him, trying the best I could to convince him whit my words. He looked back at me, tried to force forward a smile that was not genuine.

Ten minutes later a sat in Edwards car on my way to Jacob. Edward insisted on me taking his when he though mine was not fast enough. Of course I wanted my own car but I thought about Edward and his nerve and gave in. Edward and Alice were in her car behind me. They were going to fallow be to the border, making shore no one else followed me. I turned a curve and saw the big oak that represented the reservation. I looked in the rear-view and saw the stopping. Immediately I got a text from Edward, asking me to stay safe. I knew how match he hated this, the thought of me being alone. He had so match guilt for leaving before; I could only imagine what this did to him now. He always blamed himself for everything, even the stuff he could not change or prevent from happening. I turned on the radio; maybe music could make my mind block my thoughts a bit. It didn't take me long for reaching Jakes house. His rabbit stood on the driveway along whit our motorcycles. I felt bad when I saw them, me and Jake had had some fun times together. And after a while a just stopped returning his calls and hiding from him. His transformation had made things worse between us; it reminded me to much of Edward. Everything at that time seemed to remind me of him. I turned off the engine and then slowly started to walk towards my humiliation. I gave the doors three hard knocks. Billy opened the door in a huge smile.

"Bella" he said, wheeling himself over and motioning for me to come in.

"Hey Billy! How are you doing?" I asked him and returned his smile.

"Just fine now that you are here" he said and laughed. He closed the door and wild inside after me.

"Is that so?" I said and giggled on his comment.

"So where is Jake? Did he drown under the hot steam of the shower?" I said and giggled some more. Funny how fast your mood can change.

"Something like that" he said and got a different tone to his voice.

"Well I guess I have to surprise him then." I said, giving Billy a last smile and started to walk towards Jakes room. I took a few steps and then it hit me and I froze, chills ran up my spine and the air flew out of me. The voice…The voice in the woods, the voice I knew so well - it belonged to Jakes father. I slowly turned around, and came face to face whit a standing Billy.

**A twist...were you expecting that?**


	11. Predator and the Pray

**Hello again! It's 2:30 am here in Sweden, when i am posting this.**

**I want to thank you for the rewiews, it motevates me to whrite and post more often. I know this one is short but i wanted to post it anyway. **

**Predator and the Prey**

**BPOV**

Everything went cold; the sweat had started to break out. I was breathing heavily, my chest moving so fast as I let the air out. I swallowed, hard. No words came to me; all I could do was to stare at him, "standing" there. How was that even possible? Now I knew why I had such a hard time matching the voice to a face. My mind just could not pot the two pieces together. The voice, the forest, a man whit a functioning body. Of course I would not come to think about Billy. Because he was in a wheelchair, or so he had me fooled. He was standing in front of me, no more than a couple of fetes. Watching me whit a smirk, it made me shiver. Obviously Jacob wasn't home; he would never risk being seen like this to anyone else but me. I had been fooled, fooled badly. I was so afraid at this moment I am sure he did find it amusing. This was why he acted so strange on the phone, asking me if I was coming alone. It was not because he wondered about Charlie; it was because he was wondering about my vulnerability. He started to laugh it was a quiet laugh, a laugh of victory.

"Chocking isn't it?" he said and the smile grew wider across his face. He started to walk further away from his wheelchair, still smiling while watching me watching him. "It's true magic really" he said while raising his eyebrows and laughed even harder. I opened my mouth, in a try to say something. Instead the mouth remain open without the words being spoken. Leaving me locking as chocked as I felt.

"Now se, that was the expression I was waiting for." He clapped his hands together, like a child who was really excited. I closed my mouth tight, I was in deep trouble. I would not be able to run from him, he was a werewolf for god's sake and he was not the nice kind. This mess was only yet another example done by my stubbornness. I had totally ignored Edward and his pleading about me not coming here. Now this was the consequences and I was vulnerable and alone. He knew it as well as I, it showed all over his face.

"Edward knows I'm here" I said, a bit too fast. Sounding insecure and stupid.

"Well I am sure he does. But seeing your expression, what was it now again? Oh that's right, chock. I am assuming he is as clueless towards me being who I am and all as you were just a couple a minutes ago." He kept moving across the floor, further away from me, kicking his legs ironical. I wasn't able to say anything, my throat was so dry and the fear made me unable to even breathe.

"Sorry for my roundness" he said and motioned towards his kicking legs. "But I get a heavy case of sleepy legs when I live in that thing" he said and nodded at the wheelchair. "They are not so ergonomics those chairs." He sighted loudly stretching his arms. Preparing himself while luring his prey. This time I was not watching a documentary on discovery. Were the snake was following its pray, making it think it was nice, only wanting company. Then when least expecting, attacking. This time I was experiencing it, fearing the attack. This would be an easy hunt for him; I wish I knew what was coming. In second thought maybe not knowing was for the best.

My phone started to ring in my pocket; I felt it vibrated against my leg. My hand touched its spot on the outside, thank god for the soundless button. At least I had done one thing right, I did not want Edward to be able to disturb me and now I gave a silent thank you to some higher power. I was trying to act normal, in this case scared. I did not want him to pick up on something. If I was fast enough maybe I had a change to answer the phone before he could reach me. He kept glaring at me; something in his eyes was telling me he found something funny.

"You are aware of my hearing Bella, aren't you?" he said and stretched his arm out. "Give me the phone and don't do anything stupid." His tone was hard but under control. What he did not know was; that if it was Edward calling and I did not answer he would get the message. He would not care about crossing some stupid border, at least I hoped so. Maybe I had ruined that chance when I assured him about my safety? The phone had stopped ringing.

"Give me the phone Bella." He said again. Totally having himself under control, not giving any emotion away what so ever. I reached down in my pocket, pulling out the phone and handing it towards Billy. There went my last change of rescue I thought.

"Good, we wouldn't want any interference, now would we?" he putted the phone in the safe spot of his pocket, petting the outside of it. Reassuring me it was out of my reach. Anger came rushing over me, if he was planning to UN pride me again; I would not make it that easy for him.

"Why are you doing this?" I said in anger. He shifted his position, leaning against the kitchen cabinet.

"For wariest reasons Bella. You like to play, I like to play. Is that a god of a reason?" he asked me, having a dirty look on his face.

"What does that even mean?" I asked him, trying to by myself some time.

"Well, what do you call what you are doing to Jacob? In my mind he is a toy to you, therefore you like to play. And I guess you know how I like to play." He said and wetted his lips. Making me feel dirty all over again.

"Jacob is my friend" I said in a statement.

"I don't think that he is, you most certainly do not show it that well. He is one thing to you and one thing only; a toy." It wouldn't matter how match I defended myself on this one, he would never listen. He was too caught up whit being exited by the situation.

"You do now that I can just tell Jacob about you?" I sputtered. He started laughing again.

"And you think he would believe you? His whole life I have been in a wheelchair, to him I can't even move my legs." He was humored.

"I can convince him" I said. Not believing my own words.

"Oh can you now? You are way more fragile than I thought, how pleasant for me." he was playing whit his fingers, wanting me to feel overpowered. And I felt it, but I was not going to show it.

"Were is Jacob anyway?" I asked, trying to switch tactics.

"I sent him and his little pack on a mission this morning, I am not expecting him any time soon. As you know, this Victoria has been around; it just happened that she seems to be wanting you. I cannot let that happen, I want you all by myself. So I told Jacob he had to be sure she was out of the picture. Otherwise you would never be safe. And being the hunters they are, they will be occupied hunting her down." This scared me to the core, THEN I was all alone. Jacob would not have seen my text and I knew Victoria was fast and really smart. She would not be captured easily.

He had been planning this all along; he knew he had a waterproof story and that I was in a dead end.

"The Cullen's will come for you." I told him, a bit scared of my forwardness. I didn't want to push his buttons.

"Little, fragile, Bella. I have the whole pack by my side. You would be quite chocked if you knew how large it has gotten. The Cullen's and your precious Edward, would be no match for them." The cold sweat made itself noticeable again, as did my shaky hands. I fired that my legs would not be able to hold me anymore because of how scared I was. I was fighting it whit all of my power, I needed to stay clear in order to get out of here.

"You honestly don't think that they have some aces of their own?" I looked at him, straight in the eyes. Trying to act like I was under control, that his little statement didn't get to me, when really it did.

"I think you are starting to get cocky, unfortunately for you I don't like that behavior. Charlie hasn't tamed you right." He said and took a step closer.

"Tamed, you are all scrod up. I am not an animal that you can tame. I think things has gotten to your head, if you know what I mean?" I felt my hormones taking charge; it helped me shake the sacredness. To my surprise he started howling, it was all an act of course, but it made me see how frightened I should be. This man was insane. He howled again.

"Ding, ding, dong Bella. You are fast whit that little mouth of yours; it's starting to irritate me. Let me tell you, you don't want to make me angry. I promise you that. If you behave however, I will be nice as well, the choice is yours." He took another step closer.

"I think we need to be getting this show started. I am beginning to get bored." He smiled at me, glancing over my body, stopping at my chest.

"Please don't!" I cried out. Knowing it would not help, I knew what was coming only this time I would be conscious.

"Bella, the worst part is the first time. We have done that already, if you relax you might even enjoy It." he said while he took the last step that was between us. He started to stroke my shoulder, I closed my eyes. ALICE! I thought as hard as I could. She had heard me the last time, maybe it could work again. ALICE! I tried again. ALICE, HELP ME! I was shouting inside while Jacobs's father was unbuttoning my shirt. I heard him starting to breathe heavily, getting exited. I began to cry, I did not want to give him that satisfaction as well but there was no stopping them. I knew better than to try, they fell like a cloudburst. ALICE, PLEAS I tried again.

He had gotten of my shirt and had started whit my bra. The time stood still, every wrong doing, every missed moment, all the nice times whit Edward, Edward, Edward and Edward. I had time for every memory. I guessed this was a little bit like the people that have died and then come back describes it. Only I had not the pleasure of dying, I was going to live through another rape and get some more memories. I cried so hard I could barley breath, the anxiety attack had come. I was chipping for air while Billy was taking of my pants. There were no need for me to fight him; I would not win, better to get it over whit. I had my eyes closed really tightly, focusing every second on Edward. If I could only get a mental picture of him, I would not be alone. He was starting whit my panties when the door flew open and in came Edward.

**So, Edward is the hero again! **

**In the next chapter "Braking Borders" stuff will happen, stay tuned.**


	12. Breaking Borders

**Hello! Another chapter, i think i like this one.**

**I do not own Twilight, why oh whyyy?**

**Breaking Borders**

**BPOV**

Billy through me hard against the wall before Edward had managed to reach me. His senses were fast, fast indeed. All hell broke loose; I lay naked and ashamed on the floor, watching Edward tossing Billy around like a ragdoll. The rage that I saw in Edwards's eyes and the facial expression was not human. This side of Edward was nothing but vampire. I crawled in to a corner, crossing my legs up to hide my body. The battle between Edward and Billy was still at its top when the rest of the Cullens came rushing through the door. Alice was at my side within the blink of an eye. The rest of them helped Edward whit pinning Billy up against the wall. Alice helped me whit my clothes and before I knew it they war all in its right place, thank god for her speed. I was still crying and now alsou petrified by the situation. Happy they saved me in time, but I was clueless towards what this would mean now. They were on the wrong side of the turf. Edward was growling in Billy's face, Billy himself was just laughing and pointing towards the door. Running footsteps, loud enough for me to hear them, the soldiers were coming to Billy's rescue. Jacob along whit Sam and Paul stood in the doorway. It took a couple of seconds before they grasped the situation but when they did they launched themselves towards the Cullen's. Jacobs target was Edward; Edward was fast and jumped out of his reach. Jacob growled and started to walk slowly towards Edwards spot. The rest of them were fighting, Billy was on the floor, being the actor he was he pretended to be unable to walk again. Alice was no longer at my side; she stood beside Edward, talking too fast for me to hear. I remained paralyzed in my corner, watching the feud whit terror. Paul and Emmet fighting whit their fists, Sam, Carlisle and Rosalie jumping each other, trying to get Paul to listen. Esme standing over Billy, making sure he didn't run and Jasper focusing on calming the situation down, it looked like it wasn't working. The Cullen's was not being rough I could tell, the pack had not changed into their shapes as wolves and was not strong enough to fight equally whit the Cullen's. The Cullen's in their turn was not here to fight them; they were here to inform them and to bear the witness of the truth. Whit that thought Jacob transformed, his clothes ripped and he was now on the verge of killing. He was going to kill Edward; I stood up and ran towards Jacob.

"Stop!" I screamed, standing between Edward and him. Edward pushed me behind him, focusing on Jacobs's next move. I heard Sam screaming that the war had begun, and then they changed to. Three oversized wolves were standing in fighting positions in the kitchen, reedy to kill when Sam said so. I wasn't going to let that happen, I yelled Sam's name, trying to get his attention. He was not listening, he was growling loudly towards Carlisle. Paul stood beside him, cornering the rest of the Cullen's and poor little Billy sitting on the floor playing clueless.

"SAM!" I yelled again, walking towards him. Edward took a hold of my arm and yanked me back, Jacob smacked him on the leg whit his palm. Edwards's trousers broke and bleeding flesh came in site. I looked at it, horrified, and then the wound closed up and had healed right before my eyes. I kicked Jacob on the side of his wolf body, I knew he was not going to be pained because of it, but I needed to let him know that I was against the fighting. He looked at me and sighted, I couldn't tell what that sight meant but the message was not as clear as a thought. He was still in his angry mode. This was going to end badly if it were to be continued. I faced Jacob again.

"Jake, this is not what it looks like. Please just listen to me" I said in a low voice.

"Do not listen to her Jacob, she will feed you any lie she can think of" Billy was saying from across the tiny kitchen. I turned towards Billy, feeling the rage and the wet from my tears.

"Edward saw you Billy…They all did, the act is not working anymore." My voice kept clear even though it shouldn't. "Show them the little magic trick you showed me Billy, tell Jacob were he really got the gene from." I said. This seemed to catch Jacobs's attention; he now looked at me instead of Edward.

"What are you talking about Bella?" Billy said and looked at me a little too friendly." You came in here along whit the Cullen's, talking about letting Edward change you. When you did not like my answer, well you all attacked me." He then said and through his hands up looking scared. Jacob and the other wolfs growled loudly again, facing their enemy, the Cullen's.

"No that's a lie!" I screamed. "Jacob.. Billy is a werewolf and he does not need that stupid chair of his!" I pulled my arm back from Edwards hold and looked towards Sam. He met my gaze and I saw he was listening.

"I had an incident in the forest, I came here to talk whit Jacob about it. But when I came here Billy had tricked me, over the phone he told me Jacob was home. But he wasn't. It turned out he did not want me to talk about it whit Jake because he was the one who insulted me. As in raped me" I bit my lips as the words came out. It was out in the open, it was not a secret anymore. Billy started to laugh again; Sam turned his head to him. Billy was out on thin ice, I hoped he knew that, I hope he felt really nervous and I hoped that he at least felt some of the sacredness that I had been feeling for the last week.

"Yes" Edward said. I looked at him; he was answering something that Jacob had asked. Sam and Paul seemed to hear the question as well because they were moving away from the Cullen's and towards Billy.

"This is insane" Billy said. "Me being a werewolf? Me being a rapist? Jacob you know I can't even walk" he said and played the disappointed father.

"If you're not lying, then why do you have my phone in your pocket?" I asked Billy. Billy trough me an angry look, he was hoping I would not think of that, I could tell.

"Tell them how you took my phone, so that I could not use it and call Edward, letting him know just how capable you are whit the lower half of your body." The tears were still falling down when Jacob, Sam and Paul left the house. I turned confused towards Edward.

"They are going to change back into their human form, I think they believe you" Edward said whit a grin on his face, only it was not a happy grin. Carlisle came and stood beside Edward as well, the others made a circle around Billy who was now standing. I guess he knew he was defeated ore else he would never ever have done that.

After a while they all came back, and I mean them all. Somehow within the fifteen minutes that they were gone they had completed the pack. They were ALL there, good this was just getting more and more humiliating. Even the older ones was whit them, I did not get why.

"Edward" I whispered, looking up at him.

"Bella everything you say can be heard, just so you now" Edward whispered back at me. He watched me whit concerned eyes, grabbing his arm tighter around my waist and then nodded at Jacob. Jacob was standing a couple of feet away from Billy along whit the rest of them. He was watching Billy whit a stare stat was so intense and so filled whit hatred and confusion. Whit a closer look I saw that they all were watching him whit the same confusion.

"Ho..h..How..Why?" Jacob stuttered. Raising his arm and then lowering it back down.

"Oh stop it Jake, all the times you found me out of my share, you must have known." Billy said tiredly.

"What? You said you fell" Jacob said sounding even more questioning.

"Fell" Billy said and made a try to laugh. He didn't, Emmet pushed him agents the wall whit such a force it smashed the laugh right out of Billy. Jacob held out a hand, telling Emmet to stop.

"Why dad? Just tell me why?" Jacob asked again.

"Well I don't know about you guys but Bella being a whore and all, I thought she needed a lecture" he said and the smile was on his face again. Edward was no longer beside me; he was now in Billy's face, growling whit tight mussels. Edward raised his hand and pushed him hard in the stomach, then over the sheik, then again in the stomach before Sam stopped him.

"Edward I understand you're angry, you have every right to be. But cool down a minute, ok?" he said and let go of Edwards arm. Edward nodded his hand and left the place within the circle that was still surrounding Billy.

I stepped into the ring, pushing myself in front of Billy. Everyone was looking at me, Billy as well. Then I slapped him, whit all my force. Of course he didn't as much as flinch but I sure felt nice, even though my hand aced even more than I knew his face did.

"Bella" I heard Carlisle say but I didn't listen. I spitted Billy straight in the face.

"Now how does that feel?" I then asked.

"Well, I have wanted for you to play dirty whit me Bella" he answered, leaving me utterly speechless. The next thing I knew I was showed back and Billy was on the ground whit Jacob clinging on top of him. The rest of them gave Jacob space, watching as he beaded the crap out of his dad. Billy just lay there; he did not even protect himself, letting Jacob hit him over and over. Sam turned towards us.

"You can leave, we will deal whit this, then we will let you know" he simply said. Whit you, he meant us, the Cullen's and me. And what he meant by letting us know, I had no idea and I did not care. They could kill him and it wouldn't matter to me, but my concerns went out to Jacob. I know it strange, me even caring like that but Jacob is my best friend. What would this do to him?

We left the reservation, Edward and I in his car and the rest of them, well I think they walked. When we started to get near my house I finally talked.

"You need to take me home" I said without looking at him. "I haven't seen my dad in days and I need to be home. He doesn't even know that your back, he trust me to not do anything stupid." I told him.

"Ok" he said shortly. He turned in on my street and stooped and the sidewalk a couple of houses away.

"He is home" he said when he saw my look.

"Of course he is, he is always late but now when I have a ripped shirt he decides to be on time." I sighted.

"He hasn't been upstairs yet, I can take you by the window." Edward was out of the car and by my side of the door at once. Lifting me up and running me to my house. I was in my room in no time.

"Thanks" I said and hugged him. "Thanks for saving me" he hugged me back tightly and whispered:

"Always" a sound from downstairs told us Charlie was on his way up. Edward looked at me.

"Go, I need to talk to him. Come back in two hours or so" he hesitated then kissed me on the forehead before he was gone. I tore of my shirt and through it on the chair, grabbed my robe and sat down on the bed. He knocked on the door before he opened it.

"Bella are you there" he said and stepped inside my room. I just looked at him.

"You are so weird" I said without laughing, I was out of laughter for now. Charlie didn't laugh either he just stood there watching me.

"Don't you have something to tell me?" he asked me, crossing his arms over his chest in his sheriff kind of way.

"Am..I.."

"You know what I mean Bella!" he raised his voice. How could he know? Who would tell him? I bet Carlisle did, who else?

"About the Cullen's being back" he still looked at me, angrily. I sighted again, he didn't know. That was good, but he knew of something. Something I had not told him about, Edward.

"There back" I nodded. Noticing I still had my shoes on. Dam, maybe he would not notice.

"And you did not tell me because?" he asked, not being happy at all.

"Well, I don't know" I answered. I knew why I had not, because I did not want him to know the rest, the truth. So I lied, I played the not caring teenager.

"Were you planning on letting me know?" he was almost screaming now.

"Yes" I said and looked down. "Yes I was, I was going to tell you today" I lied again. Maybe I wasn't going to tell him today, but that was only because I hadn't had the time to think about it. I had been caught up in some other stuff, only he did not know about that. He took the silence for withholding.

"It was still not soon enough, how long have you known about this? Have you meet him?" he asked, sounding more like a father then a sheriff now.

"For a few days" I lied again. "And yes I have" that one I answered truthfully.

"So that's what it takes then? Rushing back like prince charming, and your swayed all over again?" he spited the words, they were like venom.

"No that's not it and stop talking to me like that." I said and met his gaze again, he softened a little, but the anger still remained.

"Your grounded" he said then.

"What! What for?" I demanded my answer.

"Because I say so" was that my answer? I was not going to hear it.

"That won't work." I told him. "Punishing me for not having the same point of view as you? That's just stupid" I wasn't the girl who talked back to my parents like this, especially not like this. And watching Charlie right now I saw he was really chocked towards my behavior as well.

"I am eighteen and whit that number I am legally entitled to some privacy." I added. Feeling only a bit ashamed of the way I was talking, a tiny bit.

"He is not welcome here" he said, like a child knowing he is losing.

"That saddens me, but ok" I tried a different way whit him. Being angry was not going to work whit Charlie, I knew that much. We were too much alike in that matter. I saw he reacted at this, my new tactic.

"Bella, I don't want to see you get hurt again." Charlie never talked about feelings much; he was actually saying his feelings without it involving anger.

"I know" I said. "But Edward is not hurting me, it was the loss of him that did" and when I said those words I knew it would heal me more, than it would convince him.

"I only ask of the truth Bella, as long as your honest whit me, I will be on your side. But I am not saying he is welcome here, not yet anyway. I need some time, hiding my anger." He laughed now. A flood of guilt came rushing over me, I was not being truthful, not whit everything.

"So I am not grounded then?" I asked, feeling happy about winning but not being able to show anything but tiredness.

"No, I was overheated when I said that. Sorry and good night." He said and left as abruptly as he came in. This I smiled at, he really was weird, but good weird.

When I had showered I tried to eat something, some yoghurt went down but nothing else. Food was my enemy right now, it made me feel sick and I was running from that emotion. I went up stair, feeling a bit calmed about the smell of home, the smell of my strawberry shampoo and my pajamas. I lay down in my bed, wondering about when I was going to feel whole again and if that day would ever come. I had learned a defense mechanism, one that made you forget about the pain, well not forget but to put it on hold for a moment. That state was numbness, only I didn't know if I wanted to go there. Maybe it was time to face reality, to actually deal whit my problems. I lay still in the bed, bracing myself for the moment when I was going to let go. I felt it braking, my walls, the other part of my defense mechanism. And then it gave away, relief came first, then anger, anger towards everyone and everything, then sadness, indescribable sadness. I cried and cried and cried. The tears just never stooped and I did not want them to, I needed the tears, it felt good to cry. The bed lowered behind me and suddenly Edward was holding me. But just holding me, letting me cry and only holding me. Not trying to calm me down ore talk to me, he was simply holding me and that was all I needed. Facing the truth and facing it being hold by Edward.

**For some reason all my chapters ends whit Edward holding Bella, why is that? simply, i don't know...**


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